Did somebody say Just Eat? Yes, it was time to drag myself kicking and screaming into the 21st century world of online takeaway food (even if I was due to watch a film from 1950 with a very 1980's crisp / maize based snack). My twentysomethings friends at work, who think nothing of shovelling down 80 chicken nuggets in one sitting whilst remaining stick thin, would be proud.
My Red Wine book put a virtual gun to my head (maybe a Winchester '73) and told me I MUST eat Tacos (first choice) if I'm drinking a Merlot wine.
Sadly, I had no mint chocolate cookies in to test the Merlot's versatility, but bargain-priced bottled it certainly was. I'd had to get one from Sainsbury's at short notice, with my Mavrud on the slow boat from Italy, not arriving in time. Screw top, utter filth!
Two points on the Merlot. Firstly, I've had one before (week 4) but because I didn't own the red wine book then, it doesn't count. Secondly, I chose 'Gallo Family' in honour of Bradley Gallo, the Californian screen writer who followed #WWWSI in the early days, and then binned me off for not being star studded enough. I wonder if he's part of the Gallo family?
It is more popular in France of course, but it was about time I drank an American wine for the first time in 23 weeks. Wanna see an overly smug Frenchman posing by his Merlot building, and a double denim American Merlot dude doing some top mixing? I do spoil you .......
The wine was nice enough, but seemed a little bit light and flakey on its own, it was at its best when I was knee deep in the spicy Tacos so in that respect, the Red Wine book did its job yet again.
With my Tacos en route, it was time to weigh the Giant Wotsits! I rolled a 3 this week for the first time since the end of June, and it was time to sample the ' Flamin Hot' giant variety. In retrospect, this wasn't a great decision in a week when I was relatively cheese free, and was eating hot stuff anyway.
Time to get changed into more suitable attire, which this week included a Sherlock Holmes Deerstalker that Daddy Wotsit had retrieved from my loft, last worn when I 'ticked' the Sherlock Holmes pub in Melbourne in 2016. British themed they said, but called crisps 'chips' and chips 'fries'. I made a bit of a fuss about that at the time, but a decent boozer otherwise. I digress.
The music of Herb Alpert and his Tijuana Brass Buddies has never been more appropriate, and with the wine flowing and 'Limbo Rock' la-la-la-la'ing around my kitchen, my phone buzzed. Mr Mexicano didn't even make an attempt to gain entry to my flats, so I had to go downstairs and meet him at his car.
A couple walking a dog looked a bit freaked out by the sight of a guy in a deer stalker and blue suit jacket picking up a bag of Mexican food, but I just smiled sweetly at them.
Didn't it look pretty?
I had a beef one, a chicken one and a jackfruit (whatever that is) one. It came with nachos, a salsa dip and a sour cream. Interestingly (to me), one of the dressings was called 'Pico de Gallo'. It really was a night for the Gallo. If Bradley returned to #WWWSI to tell a joke, we could call it Gallo's Humour, but he didn't , so we won't.
I also ordered a bottle of mandarin Mexican soda, which I took to bed at 9:30pm later, and settled my stomach in the night!
Without further ado, it was on to the main event.
And to address some followers concerns, Colin's florets haven't been too prickled by the Christmas tree and he tells me he is perfectly happy up there acting as our Christmas fairy. Alex the Apple is furious he's been left on the shelf (literally) once more.
So, Winchester '73 then. Interesting story, rip roaring adventure, but confusingly film number 67 on the list .......
What can we say about the film then? Well, Barbara Windsor was alive when I started watching it. Dead by the end. Not sure if the two facts are related.
No, our mate James Stewart was back playing the hero. Both he and a baddie he knew from the past had to compete to win this much coveted gun (the Winchester '73) which all the boys wanted, and some of the girls.
The duo got reacquainted at the local saloon, the baddie bought JS a glass of milk when he wanted a pint of ESB. I felt his pain.
Because James Stewart wasn't a local, the landlord made him enter his name and postcode in the guestbook at the bar, which all felt a bit 'Tier 2 people going into Tier 1 pubs'. JS says "do you want my REAL name? LOL" I like his style.
Their shooting competition went to penalties, with the townsfolk loving it, and James Stewart finally won when he inexplicably shot a hole through the centre of a postage stamp.
The baddie was a sore loser, and mugged JS in his hotel room, jumped out the window Andy Payton style, and rode off with the gun with a few fellow baddies.
JS and a bloke who looked a bit like ex-Southampton player Graham Baker rode after them, but the baddies stopped off at this rural pub called Rikers Hotel & Bar which felt a bit like being on the outskirts of Sunderland.
The baddie cos he's a bit thick, managed to lose the gun in a card game but Rikers had a great atmosphere, top old style boozer like that Grade II one in that place that got flooded on the Derbys/Greater Manc border.
The card game winner took it to show the leader of this Native American tribe inexplicably played by Rock Hudson, who scalps him and nicks the gun.
With the Merlot going down, was hard to keep up with the gun and who had it.
Meanwhile, this lass who JS took a shine to is riding along with her husband 'Steve' to their new home. When the Native Americans appear, Steve basically leaves her and rides off alone cos it transpires he's a yella belly (though they don't say what part of Lincs he's from).
Luckily, he comes back for her but she realises he's a loser and J.S. just so happens to be at the camp they both arrive at, seems to be the man she wants.
Lots of stuff happens, Rock Hudson gets killed, and quite randomly, Tony Curtis rocks up and finds the gun on the ground and makes off with it,
Steve the yella belly shows what a shitbag he is by letting the baddies into the new family home, and gets himself killed. No one cares, not even his wife.
The baddy from the beginning gets the gun back, and they all meet up for the finale in a place called Tascosa which sounds like Tescos the way they say it.
Graham Baker tells the lass that James Stewart and the baddie are actually brothers! That's a twist we didn't expect, and JS follows him into the hills, and shoots him so he falls to his death, now JS has the Winchester '73, and I think that's a happy ending. Phew!
AOB / COMING SOON
Just a few points of order, for you, the best 46 followers a boy could have.
The Mavrud arrived today, I scared the delivery driver cos I was all Christmassy for a work charity thing, but he said he reckons the wine will be nice cos it was packaged so well. Hmmmmm, ok then.
So not sure what day next week yet, probably end up the usual Thursday but could be Friday. Food is probably Chilli. Film is Destry Rides Again #88, Wotsits TBC.
My Christmas Special is booked in for Tuesday 22nd Dec so please join me for that one. You may remember last week, I asked if anyone knew of a Christmassy Western. Well, one of my followed kindly DM'd me a suggestion. We won't embarrass him by revealing his name but it rhymes with Save Douthworth.
When we get to Week 25, I'm going to 'celebrate' the quarter way mark by adding 10 new films to the list! With lockdown not looking like easing til about Easter, I've 'signed a new contract' keeping #WWWSI going til at least March.
Thanks for reading, Si
Jackfruit is a tree with strange fruits, commonly eaten in Asian countries like Bangladesh, though oddly I have never seen them in Bagladeshi food establishments. It has recently been adopted by modern hipster types who put sackcloth on the walls of bogs as a vegan equivalent of meet. I think you are the only normal person I have ever known order it. Given the choice of taco or curry, and aware of your nut allergy, I think I would make a curry in any case.