WEEK 31 - DEAD MAN

So for the last time this season (which ends 28th Feb I've decided), it was time to roll out the Wotsits for a #WWWSI night.

Dry your tears mate. I too have my own roadmap to freedom (i.e. pubs reopening indoors 17th May) so stay tuned for an equivalent challenge to get us through Lockdown 3.0.2. Details coming up tomorrow with a new Twitter page and Blog. You may even prefer it to this!

But back to Friday night gone and a difficult start. I was supposed to be watching The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, but in a drunken stupor a fortnight back, I'd added 'The Ballad of Lefty Brown' to my Watchlist by mistake. How many Ballads are there? And why is Buster Scruggs unavailable to buy, watch, download anywhere? Hence my hasty re-roll, taking me back down the list to Dead Man, the 49th best Western ever apparently. We'll see.

FOUR bags of Wotsits was four too many with the way I'm feeling about them at present (too much of a good thing, see previous blog) but I had contractual obligations to fulfil and with some effort, I forced them down by midnight, before I turned into a pumpkin (which is like a round uncheesy Wotsit if you think about it).

I poured this weeks wine, a Petite Sirah from California, which is in the USA for those of you who lack my geographical prowess. It was a delight, though I fear I didn't quite enjoy it as much as this guy .......

Alright Tony, settle down, it ain't Doom Bar.

Anyway, this was it. The Crusher. I donned my poncho, if this was going to be the last #WWWSI night for some time, it was important to go out in style.

My book suggested some very comforting junk food options rather than the usual poncey Euro blah, so I decided to order a blue cheese burger (I couldn't find one with bacon) from a Just Eat outlet in the allegedly dodgy Burtonstone Lane area of York. I almost went KFC!

This wine is so popular, it even has a fan club called 'P.S. I Love You'. I thought about joining just for tonight then quitting, but I didn't want to upset any serious Americans.

As I waited for my grub to arrive, I put on some lovely Americana courtesy of a member of my all time favourite band The Swingin' Utters, Darius Koski. Though it sounds very much more like the Utters excellent spin off band, Filthy Thieving Bastards. Hope you're keeping up. It felt in the spirit of Westerns and wine. Though note to my mate Matthew Lawrenson, it WOULD have sounded infinitely better on a scratchy TDK tape.

Much recommended, though isn't the track listing the beer list at The Maltings in York?

What ale would you order? Please comment below.

My phone finally buzzed ten minutes late (tsk!) and the guy kept up my Just Eat delivery drivers 100% record of failing to gain access to my flats when it was quite evident he hadn't even tried. I had to go and meet him in the carpark, dangerously negotiating two flights of steps in a billowing poncho! He only looked at me slightly strangely.

Time to settle down for the film.

The 'bluebird' burger (with onion rings, garlic sauce and red onion) was 'okay'. Couldn't they have toasted the bun? Would've made a world of difference. Felt like something you got at 2am from a van in Manchester, with a bit more intrigue. To be fair, the place specialises in pizza, so maybe burgers aren't really their thing!

Onto Dead Man then , and I'd say wow, what a cracker. Rarely have I watched a more enjoyable film in the whole 31 weeks.

It stars Johnny Depp as Wiliam Blake, in black and white, on an awkward journey, on what my train mate Tom Irvin would describe as a 'standard bog cart' with elements of a South Yorkshire Northern Rail service.

Elsecar to Wombwell

He's got a job in a town called Machine, an end of line place reminiscent of Mexborough.

Uncanny

But when he gets to the metalworks, John Hurt tells him the job vacancy has been filled cos it took him too long to turn up. So he goes to complain to Robert Mitchum in his final film role, and is lucky to just escape with his life intact.

Legend

So he goes for a pint in a very nice pub not unlike Wm Hawkes in Hull but with less freezing beer but the same amount of candle wax and strange Hullensians.

Then he meets a lovely prostitute and you all think we are set for a love story

But her returning husband Gabriel Byrne finds them in bed, shoots them, gets shot himself, it turns out he's Robert Mitchum's son, Johnny Depp gets blamed, and suddenly he's the most wanted man in the state! You still keeping up?

JD was shot himself in the previous skirmish, and finally collapses so this funny Canadian Native American (always the best type of funny Native American) rescues him and it's all very jolly, even though JD is dying slowly, and has our people like our old mate Lance Henriksen, Iggy Pop and the lead singer of the Butthole Surfers getting sucked off in an alleyway, to contend with.

A truly eclectic cast, great story, fair bit of humour, I won't spoil the end due to Basic's Law but you will probably enjoy this one.

And despite having the whole bottle, the hangover wasn't too bad!

ANY OTHER BUSINESS

Two new followers gave us a nice welcome boost in the week, not to mention the return of my Canadian mate Russ who if you read BRAPA, you'll know is a prolific comment leaver of much humour!

First up we have JDR Ellis (squad number 63), a successful author who wrote a supernatural thriller aimed at teenagers called 'Weird Holiday' which might be based on the time Retired Martin drove me to Gussage All Saints for a boring pub tick. Welcome JDR, and you can all buy Weird Holiday on Amazon.

And secondly, a most welcome addition to our club is Dick Southworth (squad number 64). Dick like his brother and fellow follower Dave is such a nice guy, and they both once came on a L**ds pub crawl with me. In fact, if I could get the whole Southworth clan onboard, I'd probably get my blue tick. That's how Twitter works right?

And just when you thought the week couldn't get any more eventful, we had the #WWWSI Trophy Quarter Finals on Sunday:

Glasnevin Beers 5-0 Duncan Mackay

Si Everitt 0-4 John Watson

Dave Southworth 0-1 Scott Johnson

Citra Mick 2-1 Becca Robertshaw

I'm gutted to be out, I just bottled it on the day. But well done to John and the other three who made it. Performance of the round to Glasnevin, but at least Duncan managed to have half a Guinness in 762 new Irish pubs over the course of the weekend.

Semi's next Sunday, which see John play Scott, and Citra hosts Glasnevin in Hartley Wintney, live on Si Sports TV.

So there we have it, look out for #WWWSI spin off on Twitter tomorrow, our first night will be Friday. It will work in very much the same way as this, but with a different drink, food, crisp, film genre combination, just to keep life 'exciting' for me!

Have a good start to March, Si