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Writer's pictureSi Everitt

WEEK 45 - THE KEEPING ROOM (2014)



The first of two consecutive February #WWWSI weeks took us to Spain and the USA, perhaps not quite as exciting as our Swedish/Uruguayan duo last time out, but hopes were high at Wotsit Towers for a fun Wednesday night ahead.


Garlic stuffed olive or feta stuffed pepper to get you in the mood? (I wouldn't accept anti pasto off this weirdo, would you?)



Yes, the drug hat was back. Green velveteen jacket, and a debut for the black neckerchief which came off halfway through the pizza as my halogen heater proved a bit too effective.


I'd meant to buy those 'Cheetoh' style Wotsits again, but ended up with a six pack of the originals. Aren't they tidgy? I had two packets, but four wouldn't have been obscene.




I rolled the D20, and came to film #43 in the 'league' table. With a critic approval rating of 75% but an audience one of only 51%, it is one of the lowest aggregate ranked films on the list of 120, so why Rotten Tomatoes consider it the 43rd best EVER, I have no idea. Should I be worried?



On the wine front, this week's grape was Tempranillo .... not long before we get onto the 'styles & blends' :


So famous, even YOU might have heard of it! They sell it in my local Sainsbury's for like £7.99, the Beavertown Neck Oil of red wine?


I went for the Casillero Del Diablo (something to do with a devil's cellar, there's even an advert for it on the actual Tele!). I'd enjoyed their Merlot and Cab De Sauv at various time during lockdown, and was interested to see in 2020 they started doing a Tempranillo.


Screw top, 2021 vintage (best to have it young says my Wine bible), this is their only wine made in Spain, the rest being Chile. Again, my bible says Tempranillo has to be Spain or it isn't worth it ..... well, until you turn the page and see Argentina, Portugal, California (not Norfolk), Washington (not Tyne & Wear) & Texas are also acceptable.


Time for the taste test:



Hmmm, it was okay but I wouldn't say it was one of my favourites. It kinda promised much, nice and dark, good smell, but it dies short once it hits the back of yer throat and leaves you a bit dry. I grew into it once I started eating, but give me that Uruguayan stuff last week over this any day.


Speaking of food, I continued my Sainsbury's frozen pizza range with a Double Pepperoni, probably the highlight of the night, good generous toppings.




Knowing I had an American 'female fronted' Western ahead of me, I listened to some female fronted American punk bands/singers in the build-up - Charly Bliss, Laura Stevenson, RVIVR, Interrupters, Sincere Engineer, Bombpomps, Bad Cop/Bad Cop. Beats ABBA and Roxette. Don't argue.


Right, oven goes beep, time to go through for the main event ......


'Revisionist Western', whatever that means. Reinventing history? Airbrushing Western cinema history? Always dangerous. Or just accepting that the days of John Wayne, depicting Native Americans of savages and women as sex objects are over? #WokeSi2023 could write a thesis, but he won't.


You've got these three lasses, the main level headed Brit Marling, her irritating little sister Hailee 'Lisa' Stansfield, and some Scouse American slave lady who they just call 'Mad' which isn't too complimentary, but she is Scouse at heart.


They are trying to eke out a living together at the end of the Civil War, but when Stansfield gets deservedly bitten by a raccoon for being annoying, Brit does what any sane person would and goes to the local boozer to try and get help.



Like every Vestry Tap Room

Landlord and landlady want to help, but are scared of these two rogue soldier customers who want to do bad things to Brit.


"Not Bowland Hen Harrier AGAIN, I've seen it four pubs today, pal!"

Brit has the perfect opportunity to shoot the baddies dead at this point, outside the pub, zero mess, no one would have cared, they'd have all been glad.


But she chooses not to for plot purposes, she gets followed back home, Stansfield recovers from raccoon bite but gets raped, Mad kills one bloke, but Brit inexplicably keeps the other one alive for long enough so they can have a chinwag at breakfast next morning before shooting him as a sort of mercy killing he didn't deserve .....


..... and by this point, I'm frustrated, can see why only 51% of the audience liked it, and find myself losing concentration as I forced down that last bit of Pepperoni and final glass of average Tempranillo.


The ending is weirdly unsatisfactory too. The army are coming to burn down their big house, so they decide to torch it themselves, dress up as blokes, and hit the road. No idea what was their fate, and I'd sort of stopped caring. Maybe I'm just not revisionist enough!


Oh well, do you want to see a Spanish man looking at his grapes lovingly? Course you do.


Because I have to rest up and pack for my first gig and first BRAPA mini break of 2023 in what'll be an action packed weekend (plus I've caught Mackem Flu off the Grand Central), I'll be WWWSI'ing again this week for the last time until early March.


The wine comes from Croatia, the film is an oldie called The Big Country (#53 on the list) and the pizza looks massive! Oooh, and as I write this, I realise I've run out of Wotsits. A trip to the local BNT Happy Shopper will be needed.


See ya then, Si


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