Good evening folks. Here's six more from my recent week staying in That London ......
Hull City fans should keep their identity under wraps at BRAPA's London Spring Micropub gold medallist - the tropical West Ham shirted owner was once spat at by a Tiger (although there was a pane of glass in between). Stand at the bar and chat amiably with him, the locals and any visiting BRAPA fans, in an easy going atmosphere, with echoes of Kent's finest pubs of this ilk. Recommend the coffee stout to a man who has been living in Cyprus and avoid the scary nut range (if allergic). Jarrod Bowen appears on Tuesday nights to discuss his favourite Dyer. Spoiler alert - it might be Alex.
Step away from monstrous 21st century Croydon and back into 1940's London in a scene reminiscent of 90's sitcom 'Goodnight Sweetheart'. Don't be surprised if Winston the cat is AWOL, bring a packet of Dreamies to lure him out. Sample the gayest pint of Pride in London, but beware of posting a pint of HSB online as you'll be told a zillion times "it isn't what it once was" by ageing pub men from Hampshire. Marvel at the intimate bonhomie amongst the locals and staff. The owl collection is a hoot. Nicky Lyndhurst performs a popular Titanic Plum Porter blind tasting on alternate Sunday evenings and gets it wrong. What a plonker.
Run the terrifying gauntlet along the abysmal Welling High Street to reach your reward at BRAPA's London Spring Micro Silver Medallist. An 'old skool micro', even if you are young like me, you cannot help but get caught up in the chat of 70's entertainers like Jimmy Jones, Jim Davidson, Bernard Manning, Bernie Clifton and an Ostrich, not to mention the scary Lord Charles. Go easy on the Black Forest stout, you too might see a shadowy figure of a woman who doesn't exist stood by the Mini Cheddars. Keith Harris and Orville finger painting classes on the Shroviest of Shrove Tuesdays.
Bird & Barrel, Barnehurst
Relive 2021 summertime Covid restriction pub ticking at this shut looking, but actually open, BRAPA Spring London Micro Bronze Medallist. Get pointed to a table in the sunny window, don't squash the tiny dog, receive table service from a kind volunteer and pub regular - beer arrives on a tray, think Milk Tray man, but less suave yet more down to earth. Enjoy the solitude of a rare 'shut off' micro experience where partitions detach you from the action. Face coverings not compulsory when going for a wee. Check your bag before leaving in case the tiny dog has got inside to gobble your gala pie and have a snooze. Dale Winton hosts a popular remake of Pets Win Prizes live from this pub at Eid.
Side street Fosters obsessed shithole selling a remarkably well kept pint of cask ale in the circs. The sort of old school pub which a pub lover loves to love, but sometimes must hold their hands up and say 'not today Clive, I'm washing my hair'. Breathing apparatus and hand sanitiser is a must when visiting the gents at peak times - try not to sink in the bog/swamp by the pool table. Nod in admiration as the locals have Amazon parcels delivered to the pub. "They know where to find me!" you'll hear them chuckle before unwrapping 34 batteries. The ghost of Barry Humphries attempts to drink 100 pints of Fosters in 100 minutes every Whitsuntide.
Try not to shout "I've never seen Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit and I've no intention of doing so .... way too long, just think how many pubs I could visit in this time?" This pub is owned by the actual real life Sir Ian McKellen and he may be lurking. Let a Dutch family take the piss out of you for unwittingly dressing the same as your cauliflower mascot, whilst enjoying a well kept TT Landlord in beautiful surroundings. A true classic, in one of the strongest parts of London for good pubs. Homosexual actors receive 20p off their pints most Frigays. BRAPA pub of the week contender.
I'm going away for Easter, so join me for more of this nonsense when I return next week.
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