BRAPA Epic Catch Up Part 7/14 .... Falkirk to Edinburgh East via Linlithgow
(Just a 'short' 8 pub epic catch up due to a lengthy Falkirk intro)
The quest before I set out on my final holiday of 2022 was to fully complete Edinburgh & The Lothians. I'd managed just 4 ticks to date, all in the centre (Guildford, Abbotsford, Jolly Judge & Blue Blazer). 41 to go!
As was always the case in 2022, train strikes disrupt the start of my holiday. Meaning I had to go up on the Friday night instead of the Saturday. Meaning I'd miss most of England's World Cup clash with USA, meaning I could only afford to stay in 'Lomond, Stirling & the Trossachs' listed Falkirk.
Daddy BRAPA came up for the overnighter, and by Cramlington we'd sunk our teeth into a Brass Castle. A man forgot to get off the train with his bags at Haymarket and had to ring for help, and when we did arrive at our Premier Inn (a 20 minute walk), we were situated in different buildings. Ever been to Falkirk Premier Inn? Crazy set-up.
I unpacked and rushed over to Dad's building, who had more crafty cans (a 9% spicy Buxton for me!), I brought some quiche. Only 25 mins to go in the football, the most boring 0-0 ever, oh well, at least we'd not missed a cracker.
Pub tick before closing time? It'd be rude not to, so we headed back into Falkirk proper.
We shouldn't underestimate this moment. Back as a Saffron Walden child in 1987/88, just discovering 'Match' magazine and the joys of stats and indoor kitchen football, fridges for goalposts, I made Falkirk my Scottish team. I still remember the stars. Baptie, Beaton, Eadie, Conn, Nicol, Marshall, Hetherston, McWilliams, McGivern, Manley, Stainrod, amazing players one and all. Never seen them play live, and if they hadn't been away to Wick Academy tomorrow, I would've been tempted!
So it was fitting that the pub was one of the best all week.
Wheatsheaf Inn, Falkirk (2196 / 4099)
Emotional BRAPA moment (Dad had it stuck on video which didn't help)
Pubs aren't dead yet! Busy without being uncomfortable, rowdy but friendly, not even a hint of 'American Werewolf in London', very accepting. Our genial host notices Dad's steamed up glasses and gives him some paper towel to wipe them. It is the little details like this that make a great pub. I comment on how nice it is to see dark beers dominating, 'we aim to please' he says, modestly. Wood panelling and gleaming mirrors abound, which would be the start of a trend. A brief moment of peril next as a couple with about 500 dogs invade the small area around us. Dad's expression mirrors my thoughts, but we soon get chatting with them, and a lovely duo with links to Wimbledon and Glencoe. They are regulars here, but are always encountering wide-eyed first time visitors like us. Stay for another and miss the last bus to our hotel? Oh go on then!
The following morning, Saturday 26th November, we ruled out a trip to see the Falkirk Wheel and Kelpies when we realised they were out in t'sticks.
We'd been thinking about pubbing up on the Dunblane / Stirling train route north of Falkirk, but I already had designs on a 'fully green' Edinburgh & the Lothians, so we headed east instead, and after some quite okay poached eggs, toast, tea and jam, pub one was soon upon us ......
Platform 3, Linlithgow (2197 / 4100)
A bit of confusion getting in .... the door you see above had been open before the pub was and we'd been turned away. Now, it had a table in front of it and Dad had to bark at me from around the corner to come in via the side entrance, thus escaping the clutches of a menacing group of excited Linlithgow Rose fans - Scottish cup day, magic was in the air (maybe) .... well, they were at home to Sauchie Juniors. It was a cute, long thin station bar with a toy train going from one end of the ceiling to the other at three minute intervals. The first of many Stewart beers this holiday, but on this occasion it wasn't well kept. The atmosphere was nearly as transient as York Tap, three lads did a speedy Budweiser take out without asking, which bewildered the kind landlady, who then went back to wrestling with a box of tinsel.
A couple of minutes walk back towards our breakfast venue, where we found pub two. It had just gone noon, and we thought everyone was waiting for a bus. But no, they were all waiting to get into the pub. And when it did open at 12:02, we had to join the queue. What a popular place!
Four Mary's, Linlithgow (2198 / 4101)
To our relief, most people went down into the restaurant area, meaning that with the exception of the regulars and a grinning Cheshire cat behind us, we were the only ones in the bar. Dad left immediately, he needed a cash machine and preferably, the one that Mary Queen of Scots favoured. My ale was topped up with a different one! I didn't say anything, pint of mixed, still all the rage in Manningtree & Colchester. But I didn't enjoy it. A Gandalf type joins the other locals. "How's yer Mum?" they ask him. "Deid!" he replies. I mistake this for a well rehearsed comedy routine they've been doing for years and laugh out loud. (They look way too old to have living Mum's), but as the conversation continues, I realise she died LAST NIGHT. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!" I say, wondering if stroking his long beard will sooth him. "Don't be, she was 103, it's been coming for a while!" he tells me with unerring matter of fact-ness. When Dad returns, the pub takes a turn for the worse. It is stuffy in here, and someone has brought three dogs in (becoming a theme!) and they stink. As does the food. Then, a group including a wheelchair and birthday lady who hates football sit between us. They seem nice, but by the end, we are relieved to get out into the fresh air!
Raven topped up with Jack Back, not many people have had that!
Next stop, Edinburgh. Haymarket to be precise, where I'll be staying for the week but for now, we walk away from the centre in search of the pubs listed under 'Edinburgh West'.
Roseburn Bar, Edinbugh West (2199 / 4102)
Our run of bad luck re beer & pubs continues. It felt like an open plan sports bar in many ways, but had enough shiny mirrors, dark wood and glimmering old features that the 'historic interior of national importance' star in the GBG made sense. On the way to the gents, a man on his phone in the corridor manages to get in the way more than I thought was humanely possible. On the plus side, I had spied this secluded backroom which he helps me gain entry to. Back at the bar, Dad was looking perplexed, as our ales hadn't come out of the handpumps as you'd expect. Twitter suggested some ancient Scottish fount dispense system - could be, #beertwitter are founts of all knowledge (sorry!) The beer was too cold to be pleasurable, and once we entered the secluded room, it smelt like there were dirty cat litter trays under each bench! Grim, surely we weren't the only ones who noticed it, but we just about got 'nose blind' to it, and weirdly, when you stood in the centre of the room, you couldn't smell it. Yes, it was proving a tricky start to my holiday.
But don't worry, solace was close by, for our next pub was my favourite today ......
Athletic Arms (Diggers), Edinburgh West (2200 / 4103)
Still looking optimistic after a tricky start ....
A great way to bring up a landmark of sorts, 'Diggers' is the nickname because there are two graveyards close by, and I thought this was a pearler. The main bar was reminiscent of the Roseburn, grand, high ceilings, but plenty of World Cup going on. And so busy! Everywhere was today. We shuddered to think what it was like on Princes Street and in the central pubs. Dad throws a curve ball as I'm getting served .... it seemed Oscar the Owl, definitely not Daddy BRAPA, was after a wee dram of whisky. 'Which one do you want?' barmaid asks me. Well, they have about 500 so I ask her to choose me one from the 'Malt of the Month' board, which nearly every pub in Edinburgh has. I've spied a quiet back room, very ornate, tiniest table ever, no cat litter smells. Oscar / Dad says the whisky is good, but Dad then gets a nosebleed which normally only happens in Catholic Clubs. We've set a trend, soon other folk are leaving the main area swell to retire to this room, and two blokes are not happy with the Saudi defending! And what is more, this is my first beer today that tastes good - Heavy by Cross Borders - look it up.
So with Edinburgh West done, and concerns over how busy it'll be closer to the centre, we decide to get stuck into the pubs to the south of the city.
First though, I drop my luggage at the peculiar Edinburgh Hub Premier Inn, by Haymarket, two free bottles of water but no kettle! And a map on the wall in case I get lost.
Here's the next pub ..... and again, it is packed to the rafters, I kinda wished I'd held this pose for the next 27.5 minutes to keep the crowds at bay.
Bennet's Bar, Edinburgh South (2201 / 4104)
"What's that Oscar? You want another whisky?" says Dad, communicating with my owl mascot who is hidden in the depths of my bag, so he did well to hear him. I'd been wondering when the first sighting of Harviestoun Bitter & Twisted would be, and again, it is a step up on the last pint, making it ale of the day so far. As Dad is getting served, a group of Nish Kumar/Richard Ayoade / Flight of the Conchords types bugger off right on cue, so we get seated, prime position, centre of the room, staring at these giant old maps, packed in like sardines between groups of Americans. But such is the grandeur, I don't feel squashed, more just happy to be here. Had I explored, I would've found our third consecutive quiet secluded back room, but there was no need. And I bet it is a joy on a quiet midweek morning with the sun coming in through those stained glass windows. Edinburgh sure has some stunning pubs.
Shocked by another busy bar here, we decided that it is still not wise to head any closer to the centre, so we cross this giant park for another pub tucked away to the south, stopping for sustenance first!
I got the Haggis one, amazing but very filling!
And just around the corner, today's sixth pub came into view ......
Dagda Bar, Edinburgh South (2202 / 4105)
Yet again, the place was packed! Pubs dying? No one with any money to spend? Don't you believe it, not in Edinburgh on a Saturday anyway. This was a smaller square room with no obvious secluded areas to retreat to. Luckily, I was getting adept / losing my inhibitions by now, and ask this youthful couple necking Tennent's lager like there is no tomorrow, as 90% of Edinbronians seem to do, possibly the reason for some questionable ale quality this week, if I can share their seat. They say yes and we have a lovely two minute chat, and when Dad & Oscar bring the beers (not whisky this time) over, they say "we were leaving anyway!" so we scoot round into their prime seat. That's how to do it! The ale is very well kept, Oakham Citra, we'd really picked up after a poor start. As the 27.5 minutes progresses, the crowd disperses and finally, we can breathe! Nice little bar this, enjoyed it.
It is time to say farewell to Daddy BRAPA for the night, who is off back to Falkirk. But I will see him briefly tomorrow morning before his train back to York.
I feel like I can squeeze another pub out of this messy but productive first day ......
Haymarket, Edinburgh (2203 / 4106)
And it doesn't get much messier than a Saturday night station-side Nicholson's. The only handpump not turned around that I can see at this stage is Shropshire Gold, hiding behind an empty bottle of Peroni. As I run the gauntlet of badly spaced tables, in search of a seat, everyone is looking up at me like 'good luck with that mate!' but them of little faith, I find a tartan carpetted room to the front right. If it seems too good to be true, well it is. A drunk man is embarrassing all around him, he won't sit still, and soon he's giving me a back rub and saying "ye havin' a good night mate?" so it is no surprise when he spills his drink on the table next to me! Bet he's from Glasgow, the rotter. He leaps off to the bar like a drunken gazelle, returns with a cloth, and manages to somehow mop the whole lot up. "Skell, pure skell!" he growls in my ear, when I give credit where it is due. A chaotic end to a crazy start to my Edinburgh holiday! The Shrops Gold drank well, it must be said.
Join me probably on Sunday for part 8, where we'll head out into the Lothians and take a look at my second and third days in the Edinburgh area.
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