Safely (in a manner of speaking) checked in at my accommodation in sunny Dover, it was time for the 'evening session' on day one of my late May Bank Holiday double overnighter in Kent.
Despite paying a fortune, I only had a bedroom, and had to share a bathroom and kitchen facilities with a strange cross section of scrotey scroats.
Being situated on Maison Dieu Road, and being quite a sour experience, I could probably have renamed it Saison Dieu Road.
THANKS, THAT WAS BEER HUMOUR! I promise it won't happen again.
With time to spare before my train out to more rural climes, this was an opportune moment to tackle my fourth of the five Dover GBG entries. Hoptimist Taproom & Bar, Dover (2498 / 4391) will appeal more to the type of person who enjoys jokes about Saison, than your traditional pub carpet enthusiast. But it had that welcoming breezy Kent micro atmosphere that you couldn't help be drawn into. The cute Rob Earnshaw type cut an impressive barman, serving a particularly zingy beer from Kent Brewery who always do it right. Best ale so far today. Probably the last thing I was expecting here was to be accosted by a boisterous old Barnsley codger, but accost he did, in the nicest possible way, and I only have to shout out random words like 'Hood Green' 'Silkstone Common', 'Six pack of lager in yer string vest in wintertime' and 'ferret up the trouser leg competition' before his eyes glaze over into 80's Barnsley nostalgia - at which point I scurry off to a table at the far end, realising I've exhausted my Barnsley knowledge and should've really held something back.
Train time. I'd been playing it safe so far sticking to Dover and it was praying on my mind that if Kent GBG completion is going to be achieved by September, I need to get out rural.
So I take a train to an unknown place called Shepherd's Well, and after some pretty gentle country lane walking, I get to the village of Coldred at about 16:55. Pub doesn't open til 17:00, even on a Saturday the utter meanies, but one of those occasions when you just KNOW that you're going to enjoy a pub.
With no villagers to dunk me in the village pond to see if I float, custom in these parts re pub tickers, it is with immense relief that I hear a rusty old door creak open and an equally creaky lady emerges.
'Ah, they don't build 'em like this anymore' I think, realising Carpenters Arms, Coldred (2499 / 4392) has somehow surpassed my expectations, but would make any Kent Top 10 pub list I'll almost certainly forget to create in a few months time. Small, green and square, like Dover's White Horse but a bit spongier, definitely wetter led, and definitely more a 'pub' pub. Landlady, resembling a mad pipistrelle bat, is flapping about by the fireplace trying to light it (I'm sure she said to 'get rid of Covid' but I surely misheard - it isn't 2020, in fact it is actually 1364 in Coldred). I'm leaning patiently on the bar, feeling almost guilty for being here 'so early' but as it is 5pm, not really. Don't leave the tap running in the loos gents, a sign tells me you'll be charged for it in the price of your next pint! Which is why I always stay for just the one. It is great though, and it isn't long before the place fills up with furry woodland creatures like in all the best Kent village pubs. And had I hung around til 18:00 , I'd have got to meet a nice Twitter chap called Jack. But like a shark, pub tickers have to keep moving or they die. Fact.
I retrace my steps to the station, and a stop or two back towards Dover, I come to Kearsney, where there is a handily situated pub close by, my final tick of the day ......
"Hullo, anybody there? .... Anybody there?" my voice echoes back to me from inside the Fox, Temple Ewell (2500 / 4393) to which Colin replies 'settle down chief' and two fluffy foxes (Jim and Jermaine) on the bar bark 'alright lad'. Six pints in the sun, it can do strange things to you. Five minutes in, I'm wondering whether the pub is actually closed but they forgot to lock the door. I'm just about to pull what is known in the trade as the 'Mackay manoeuvre' when a barmaid appears with a bright apology, stopping my machinations stone dead. There wasn't much ale on, and what there was, wasn't too well kept on this occasion, and although the chairs & tables clutter the floor space, general pubiness, carpet + staff friendliness means I wanted to turn a blind eye to any negativity if possible. I even ask 'Kate' (not sure why she has inverted commas because this is her name) to highlight the GBG which she does like a seasoned pro - you wouldn't believe the nerves that some poor folk display when I ask! Stabilos slipping out of sweaty palms. She also writes the owners a note about my ticking visit so they can follow me on the old social media so if you are reading 'hiiii'. 2,500 up, I'm now only 2,000 pubs from completion, getting close(r)!
So that was my first day. I DID try and pop into the Louis Armstrong once more, as it was opposite the only English supermarket in the whole of Dover, and not far from my accommodation but it looked very shut, strange for a Saturday. Or was it just me? It was probably just me, as we'll see in Part 4.
Back tomorrow or Friday for Part 3. Depending how tough my working day is!
Take care, Si
Comments