Thursday 7th December 2023, 1:03pm
It takes some extreme conditions to have me thinking 'was it such a good idea to venture outside today?'
But this torrential rain combined with gale force winds, as soon as I hit Northallerton, had me wondering whether settling down at home with wotsits, red wine and a western would be a more appealing course of action.
But a tick's a tick's a tick, and four ticks is actually 0.088889% of the entire GBG when you think about it. Which is massive. So stick that stat up your jumper and join me in one of my easiest remaining ticks in the 2024 GBG.
Fleece, Northallerton (2557 / 4715)
'How the 'eckie thump have I not been here before?' I'm thinking, but consultation of pub ticker Jim's all seeing spreadsheet tells me it hasn't appeared in a GBG since 1983, when BRAPA was a toddler with a Barnsley accent and Fuzzy Felt addiction. On this showing, a deserved re-entry. A cosy beamed main bar with fire is occupied by two lovebirds. A gang of lads in front of me order lunch and Timmy Taylor Landlord by the gallon. I should've gone same, but choose Wensleydale's First Rodeo, which incidentally, is my first Rodeo, and it is a little bit tired. Two Scousers, stereotypes of their kind, pull up a pew and start cracking jokes. All becomes a bit cringe when they ask the lovebirds to shuffle up so they can feel the heat of the fire, only to crack up laughing and say "we were only joking!" The lovebirds later leave, but return two minutes later citing 'bad weather' and order another drink!
My train has been cancelled, harrumph! And I can't spend forever in WHSmiths eyeing up controversial Staedtler replacements for my ailing Stabilo, so I pop into the Tickle Toby Inn.
A pub I'd much enjoyed in 2012 and 2015, it disappeared from the Guide pretty quickly after this point and I can see why. It has been blanded out into something soulless, despite advertising itself as a good ole' fashioned boozer. On the plus side, the Black Sheep Blonde is good, they've kept the pool table, and the lego brick style toilet tiling is excellent. Otherwise, boring AF and quite miserable. Most notably, the booths towards the back have been opened up so there's less privacy, and the trinkets and wall hangings all gone. I'd love to know the thought processes behind decisions like this, because it isn't like it is even doing a roaring food trade. Seems to have alienated everyone.
But dry your eyes mate, the next train is on time and soon we hit Durham. Not just the county, but the city. It has been a while but is the usual squashy cacophony of students, gleaming spires and soggy commuters. Can my new tick offer hope?
Hole GrAle, Durham (2558 / 4716)
Another that made its GBG debut last year and I thought, 'let's see if it lasts the pace before I commit'. It retained its place, fully deserved on this evidence. First thing I spot is a rare near complete set of Good Beer Guides. The rare 1975 edition is closest to the door. Asking for trouble if you ask me! Once the lowest key ever Office Christmas Party gang have ordered, I find the one cask ale in a sea of keg hiding on the end behind a Santa hat and charity tin, the Kingdom of Fife would be proud. But this Allendale is on top form. I grab some crispy chicken sticks with it, and sit at a table which weirdly has a hammer on it! My warped humour had been thinking when I was in outer Bradford recently how 'nice' it'd be to see a random hammer in a pub so I could make a Peter Sutcliffe joke, but it doesn't work up here, unless we bring Wearside Jack into the equation, which is too convoluted for a limited character X/Twitter post. A young couple sit in my eyeline after this, bar at right angles, so I do feel a bit like I'm in captivity, yet the warmth and twinkly atmosphere still has me staying for a bonus half keg chilli stout. I like the effort they've made to put a carpet down too, even if it is a bit 'car showroom'. Good place.
I then have a bus ride to Spennymoor. No ticks remaining up here sadly, as I have to pick up a Christmas style parcel from a dude outside Asda.
From there, my hands are like ice blocks, the rain unrelenting, as a hardy old lady helps me catch a bus to Chester-le-Street where #Pub 3 awaits .......
Wicket Gate, Chester-le-Street (2559 / 4717)
Second time lucky for me after a visit in November 2020, one day before that awful mini-lockdown 'circuit break' nonsense, I found it shut as it was being refurbished. Like, couldn't they've waited one extra day?! But I'm here now and it now resembles L**ds Stick & Twist which was refurbed at a similar time. A surprisingly sweet Christmassy scent fills my nostrils, all cinnamon and gingerbread, and the Maxim Santastic was fantastic beer, even if I couldn't find a 50p Mudgie voucher in my wallet. The carpet screams 'heraldic North East', the lady in red screams Prosecco, and the air vents scream blowy warmth and well being.
With no trains out of Chester-le-Street for the rest of the day, it had to be a bus. I was thinking Durham and a train home, but when I saw it goes right through to Newcastle where I had a new central tick, I thought 'why not?' because four ticks sounds a lot better than three.
Three Bulls Heads, Newcastle (2560 / 4718)
But in the most BRAPtastic of all ridiculously BRAPpenings, as I approach, I notice Newcastle Utd are currently playing a Premier League match away at Everton. On a Thursday night I tell you! What's the odds of that? 'Oh well, it isn't BOUND to have a TV', I muse to myself. I couldn't have been more wrong. This pub is known for screening live sporting events, and both levels have a giant screen every which way you turn! A slightly farty Bass offers some solace, but this cavernous alive-hole is packed, resembling a saloon bar from a 50's Western. I make my way up the spangly staircase, ask two mean looking Geordies if I can perch. They acquiesce with a grumbly 'aye', I realise I must concentrate as my face is right on the edge of the biggest screen most folk are facing. But this crowd are a surprisingly fair weather bunch of Mags. Only when their team have the ball in Everton's final third (which isn't very often) do they become animated. Otherwise, they turn to the person immediately to their left and say stuff like "so how's Margaret? Out of hospital yet?" It is 0-0 and wholly uneventful whilst I'm here, but on the train back to York, I'm not surprised to learn they've lost 3-0 as it felt like it was going that way. I don't suppose this lot lost much sleep over the outcome.
And that is possibly my final blog til Christmas unless I can get one out tomorrow night.
I was going to #ThirstyThursday the flip out of tomorrow, but with pre-Christmas packing and organising to do, a fridge full of food that needs 'dealing with', plus expected gale force winds likely to disrupt train, I've decided against it like a lameoid.
Thanks for reading, Si
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