BRAPA IN .... GET ME TO THE CHAPEL ON TIME : FUN ON TEESSIDE
How green is your North Yorkshire?
With a 12:45pm finish at work, and a 20:00 kick off* up at play off certs Middlesbrough, it was time for some rare Wednesday ticking up on Teesside and surrounds. Especially as the ever malleable Daddy BRAPA was willing to be bent in a BRAPAerly direction.
*Confession time - we hadn't got match tickets in the end, which proved a wise decision, Dad had snooker in Sheffield the next day, neither of us were too bothered, so the plan was to do the pubs we would've done, then leg it back to York in time for Now TV and a takeaway!
Our first stop was Stokesley, a pretty village in that North North Yorkshire ilk where you have a main road through, cars parked off the sides on cobbles, little green swathes of grass, a dotty old woman welcoming you in, and a war memorial. Bedale, Yarm and even Northallerton all look similar, yet Stokesley is the nicest.
An ancient couple were drinking outside at Green Man, Stokesley (2417 / 4321) , they build 'em hardy in these parts as that biting wind just won't give it a rest at the moment. Shame, it'd feel like spring if you could get out of it, but it blows from N,E,S & W, goes through your bones into your core, and this is exactly why Captain Scott's expedition failed. The genial guv'nor seems delighted to have two new customers, and despite the pub being one of those 'Tim Taylor Champion' pubs, I have an ale from Somerset, which is down south somewhere. Never been on BRAPA's radar. But it will be. One day. When most of you are dead and I've been cancelled and tick as a recluse, hobbitting my way around Priddy and making bad blog titles like 'Cheddar Gorgeous'. "We've never had two beers on which aren't from Yorkshire at once!" he exclaims, when I tell him Wantsum are Kent. Ale is great. Place is nicely done. I love those little green men, Pagan style, a good job as they adorn each wall and surface. A little fake fire helps too, rare in a micro. Mrs GreenMan comes in puffing and panting. "I've just walked the dog four times!" she breathes indignantly, when Dad asks if the wind has got her too. Each to their own. The bloke realises we are Hull City fans. He's a Boro' fan. But hasn't been this season. Too busy opening a pre-emptive pub with brewery attached, also in Stokesley. So I may well be back up here in a year or two.
"Four times? We need to bin off this dog!" (probable conversation)
It is now gone 3pm so we can finally hit 'Boro for their new out of towner which has received rave reviews from all the other tickers who've beaten me here, despite me living closest, tsk.
We miss it twice, park five minutes away, really and truly, being called the Chapel, we should've just headed straight for the big church spire, even though that is the building next door. Almost in the shadow of the Transporter bridge, one of Daddy BRAPA's eight wonders of the world.
Chapel@Whitehouse Street, Middlesbrough (2418 / 4322) lives up to the billing, and then some! Never before has anything anywhere with an '@' in the name been remotely good. Daddy BRAPA despite his many years on this planet describes this has one of the best pub experiences he has EVER had. I can't do it justice, you'll have to go. But as impressive as the ecclesiastical features are (and sadly half of it is closed off to us this early in the week) , our overarching memory will be the cordial welcome from the three blokes and lady who make us feel at home (a combined '150 years drinking experience' according to WhatPub). I'm thinking the bar is one of those rare 'Mouseman' ones, but when I give the carved wooden mouse a prod, it moves! Squeak. Barman tells me they did have an original that the old owners took away, so this is a knock-off mouse. When I return from the loo, Dad is back at the bar because the lads have recently been on a York pub trip and Dad is appraising their efforts. 8/10. Missing the Golden Ball when you are already at the Ackhorne has to be a minus point. They also explain why 'Boro's 'micropub revolution' never took off. Interesting, as I remember back in 2014 visiting about five which I was sure were nailed on pre-emptives (the likes of Sherlocks) and it just never came to fruition, and now all the micro power lies with Stockton. They then try to whet our appetite for their forthcoming beer festival by flinging all manner of forthcoming pump clips in our direction like the most exciting game of cards ever. A must visit, and being off centre, it feels a bit less 'Boro than most.
Fake or fortune?
Up next was Yarm, and after much searching on either side of the road, we finally found this 'blink and you'll miss it' sort of micropub. I hadn't been expecting it to be a micro, being called the 'New Inn' but I guess that's what they are, inns that are new!
Wrong door Daddio!
First we thought it was shut, then we realised you could only access it via a side door. So I go in all like 'haha, what fools we are' but I may as well have kept schtum because the barman was so engrossed in chat with his mate, the only other customer, they'd not noticed our faffing. This was today's least eventful pub, which says more about the quality of the other three, it wasn't rubbish, just a standard micro. Was going for Pieces of Eight chocolate stout at 6% from a pirate themed brewery a good idea? I did the maths in my head. Of course it was! Rummy stuff, like being hit over the head with a giant Toblerone. With no real staff engagement for the first time today, Daddy BRAPA decided to entertain us both by randomly bidding on two pub signs for his outbuilding / snooker room. We picked two between us, he ran off to the car, grabbed his phone, and gave the auction house instructions just before they closed for the day, as he was at the Crucible next morning. What a life. Here's his triumphant return .....
And if he is successful, I'll post some pics.
Our final stop of the day, sort of 'twixt Middlesbrough and York just north of thirsty Thirsk was a village I'd never heard of before, and neither have you ......
There is no otter in Otterington Shorthorn, South Otterington (2420 / 4324) but we do miss KLO, and KLP, what wastes of young talent! Blame greedy agents and Brentford, don't blame BRAPA! For a sleepy village, there was a real royal rumble (not literally wrestling, that'd have been cool though) of villagers and post-work drinkers buzzing about the place. An impressive village local with a warm feel, a few dining concessions you get in rural North Yorks but still a pub at its heart. One sip of the house beer from Three Brothers had me bewildered as to why I've not seen this one in the GBG since BRAPA began. NBSS A*. It is either newer than it looks, or it has seriously been revamped in recent times. A table of dining oldies spy Colin and shout over 'corrrr, is that a cauliflower?' About time he got some recognition, he's had less reaction in 2023 than he did in 2022 and 2021 so maybe he's coming back into form at just the right time for the upcoming BRAPA spring holiday. Following on from his auction exploits in Yarm, Daddy BRAPA whizzes back to his car once more This time, we've been ordering a Chinese meal for when the match starts, Dad has kindly paid, but now needs to verify the payment. Why the boomer generation don't have their phones glued to their hand at all times like us superior Generation Xers, I'll never know!
The Col of the moment (plus two men from the table of cauli lovers)
A bit of drama on the way back as the Chinese restaurant ring to ask if they can deliver half an hour earlier. So foot to the floor from Daddy BRAPA, ably assisted by a nostalgic Billy Joel singalong, no one punker, and we are back in York in time for food and kick off. Phew!
Four ticks done, taking me up to 30 for the month. A nice round figure going into tomorrow's BRAPA Spring Holiday Extravaganza. See you in an exciting county tomorrow lunchtime!
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