BRAPA in .... GROOVERS IN THE HEART : DEEE-LITE IN RIPLEY
Saturday 26th October 2024
Derbyshire had been kinder to me than most counties regarding the #CruelChurn of the 2025 Good Beer Guide, but enough gaps had opened up to make our Derby County away fixture a worthwhile BRAPA venture .....
..... ESPECIALLY when Derby supporting pub ticking fans Rich & Steve had devised a plan tailored for BRAPA - two pre-match pubs, two post-match pubs.
Daddy BRAPA was here too, you can see his ear in the front passenger seat above. I was in the backseat with Steve and diva mascot Ivor Panda, who demanded his own seat.
Without blaming the great man (Daddy, not Ivor), it was his fault we leave Derby station from the Pride Park exit at 10:30am. He'd invented this wondrous cafe in his mind which didn't exist in real life.
We spent the next 45 minutes looking for some form of refreshment or entertainment which wasn't forthcoming, until we ask the bored gate guard if we can nip back through (we actually did this 3 times) so we can get a lemon muffin & coffee on the concourse!
We managed it, but we had to sit in a cold wind. Life is HARD before pubs open!
But our saviours were here 11:30am, and shortly after 12, we arrive at pub one. Looks like they were even thirstier than me ... "Oi guys, wait up, I need an outdoor photo!"
One bloke with a rucksack does scowl at me from the gate, but he's not one of us, or pub affiliated, and disappears into the ether shortly after. A ghost I expect.
Daddy BRAPA and shadowy Steve (not ghosts)
"A warm welcome awaits you". I wish pubs wouldn't put these signs up. Up there with "Enter as a stranger, leave as a friend". PUKE!! What if they're having a bad day? What if they've employed a grumpy new staff member who'd rather stab customers in the neck? Customers ARE notoriously irritating. Me excluded. I'm lovely. But you're just making a rod for your own back aren't you? No problems here though, Mill & Brook, Long Eaton (2779 / 5264) dude has a flat cap, beard, sleeve tattoos and a canny burr about the way he communicates. The Derbyshire Dingle too stylish for Emmerdale. Win. Coming up to spooky season, Lincoln Green have renamed their beers for the occasion. I go for the delicious Murderous Marion (Kate Lonergan long-haired era), some of the others go Haunting Hood, terrifying! Perhaps because it was an LG pub, this reminds me of the Railway in Belper. Is that fair? A solid start anyway, but we know by know Derbys doesn't do rubbish.
Time for one more before kick off and it was a first ever BRAPA visit to Long Eaton's little brother, Little Eaton.
I'd have called it Short Eaton, or, if you insist on calling it Little Eaton, rename Long Eaton 'Big Eaton'.
But I've given up trying to comprehend Derbyshire logic.
There was a time, circa 2015, where I went to Derby and got very very drunk indeed, ticked off about ten pubs in one night including a gig. And halfway through, I declared Shiny my favourite brewery of all time. Possibly in the Exeter. Or the Horse & Groom. But well before the New Zealand and the Rowditch which I did 9th and 10th after the gig. Anyway, not sure Sober Si quite believes Shiny are no. 1 but I've always rated their ales quite highly, so I'm pleased to visit Shiny Brewery Tap, Little Eaton (2780 / 5265). Shame then that I accidently order a Bristol Milk Stout, in the process declaring "ain't it nice to see Shiny doing great dark beers as I normally associate them with pales!" D'oh. A surprisingly well populated little venue for one which felt off-the-beaten-track, staff are as sweet as the stout, and sentient pizza ovens adorn the bar. Oh, and I get two ticks for the price of one as Rich & Steve point out that Romiley's Hop Haus is the same thing as Jake's Ale House, which I've already done. Hurrah! At this rate, I'll have a fully green GBG by Christmas! Maybe.
Sentient
Bamboo infused craft can?
We park at Rich's gaff in sunny Chaddesden and walk to the ground. Daddy BRAPA visits his first ever Burger King, but just to use the loo, I go in a more public place because it is my USPee.
It is a frustrating 1-1 draw, again we get in front, stop concentrating, end up having to be thankful for point in game which if we were at all savvy, we'd have closed out. I liked the 'safe standing' area though, although I felt strangely short of breath all game like I was up in the Andes or something.
At full time, I say farewell to Dad who says he's off to sit on a bench and eat some quiche, and I meet Rich & Steve at our weirdly specific meeting point, under the letter 'O' on the Subway sign. Hang on .... Subway doesn't have an 'O'!
Never mind, if you though that was weird, next up was Ripley. Easily the most bonkers place in Derbyshire. Like a naughty schoolkid of towns, it just can't be repressed. And like Falmouth, Northallerton, Northampton and Kimberworth, it sticks a new pub in every GBG just for shits n giggles.
Built as an outbuilding in the back garden of former GBG entry Beehive (and had an incarnation as the Honeypot Bar - I never went to either), Groovers Arms, Ripley (2781 / 5266) is the first time I've seen youthful Ripley oddness as opposed to old codger Ripley oddness. A tonal shift even within the confines of this astonishing town. Spectacularly unpubby, a plywood clad echo chamber where beers are all numbered taps. A disco is in full swing, and the locals are embracing it, and to see 25 year olds 'Dad dancing' with gay abandon was strangely life-affirming. We've been forced outside into the garden which is just about warm enough, Ivor Panda commandeers the makeshift smoking area. When the DJ plays 'Groove is in the Heart', I realise "ah, GROOVERS in the Heart, geddit!" to which Rich & Steve probably tell me how clever I am. The DJ must realise the link too, and he now plays it on a constant loop like in Father Ted when they play Ghost Town by the Specials. There's a fairground happening in central Ripley this evening too, it really is the party town which the tourist guides don't tell you about. You can shove your Matlock Bath, Ripley has it all.
Dusk has fallen, but one more tick before my train home, providing traffic is kind to us in the Rich-mobile, and it is as we end up at this cubby little Micro on the outskirts of Derby centre .....
Strange to call a pub PotHole, Allestree, Derby (2782 / 5267) as pot holes are the bane of drivers lives, you may as well call your pub the Elon Musk Inn, the Income Tax Tavern or the Melting Polar Ice Cap Emporium (all of which will no doubt feature in the Lincolnshire section of the 2026 GBG). A real grower of an experience. I'm struggling for indoors photos and stuff to say early on, end up complimenting the guv'nor on his 3D Alien print! Never did this at the Blue Anchor in Helston. He's a cracking chap and it makes perfect sense to learn that the pub is affiliated to the wonderfully ballsy Falstaff over Normanton way so for the second time today, the legendary tale of Daddy BRAPA's '100-point-turn on the pavement outside in front of gawping locals' is relayed. With my 6% Darkside going down with ESB levels of satisfaction, Steve has a problem ... his beer is vinegary! Me and Rich both agree, so Steve returns it. Always a nervy moment. But not only is the guv'nor happy to replace it, he later comes over to our table and makes a point of THANKING Steve, commenting it would've been easier not to say anything. What a great attitude! Oxfordshire could never. I'm too settled now, complacency creeping in with my drinking, and Rich tells me to speed up, which I just about manage!
I make the train to York with peeing time to spare. We have sporadic cryptic announcements for 'people travelling back from Bristol to please be polite and respectful of our staff'. Quick check of FlashScores to see which northern team has been playing away at either Bristol side today ..... oh what a surprise(!)
I'm home in good time, I've drunk so little I even have a can with my pizza. And a new determination to get a 100% complete Derbyshire before the end of next summer.
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