BRAPA in .... THAT'S A WRAP AT APPLEJACKS : COMPLETING LANCS FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER
Thursday 15th August 2024, 2:45pm
#ProudBRAPAMoment , and with the help of top chauffeur Ian Sutton ('the Pete Langdale of Blackburn' as he's probably not known), I knock off the four remaining ticks to give me a fully green Lancs for the first time in 10.5 years of (semi) trying.
It wouldn't be a trip to Lancs if the rain wasn't coming down sideways despite relatively mild temperatures. "Power up tharrr loom 'n let's get spinning!" cry the locals, who still think the Industrial Revolution is in full swing, bless their less-advanced-than-Yorkshire (fittingly) cotton socks.
I change trains for Darwen. Rain is somehow heavier here than in Blackburn. And Google Maps sends me on an imaginative route through a park and over a bridge across a river. Pub opens 3pm, and I'm praying they are punctual.
They are! 3:02pm and despite being first customer inside the aptly named Loom & Shuttle, Darwen (2948 / 5108) it is already in full swing. One bloke is chopping limes in half and juicing them with a thud. He's the smiliest. A lady sitting at the bar is plucking mint quietly, leaving the third bloke to serve me - I nearly broke my Thornbridge Lord Marples duck, but I see a Bowland Stout late on and I'm in the mood for black beer. Pleasant unremarkable, professionally done kinda gaff. What a gorgeous smell that lime and mint is creating. Permeates my every sense, without ruining my Deer Stalker (that's the beer name, not my hat) Today's hero Ian arrives shortly after for a quick half coke and some ECG chat. I'm glad he's only parked two mins walk away, One down, three to go. C'mon!
Lime legend completes lime #1,543,231
It is no surprise that all four of these remaining pubs are micros, I'm pretty experienced by now when it comes to the 'northern classics', and Lancs really discovered its love of micropubs later than most counties.
Problem is, and don't attack me here but I don't think Lancs is particularly good at them in the way that the likes of Derbyshire, the North East and Kent are. The people are generally lovely, because Lancs folk are amongst the best on the planet, and they know how to keep a good pint too.
I just find that they sort of plonk perfunctory 'drinking holes' about with little concession to softer furnishings, comfort and the more traditional pub features. Other areas take greater care to create cosy micros where you might be tempted to stop for a cheeky sesh.
Pub two was our 'pubbiest' but even then, I think the atmpsphere is created more by the locals than the interior. Pretty glam I'm sure you'll agree .....
Ah yes, it wouldn't be an Ian day without him posing on a bench outside at least one pub. Problem is, the ultra wet conditions means he's forced to admit he looks like he's squatting over a toilet bowl. Never mind. We still love you Ian. I do some of my best thinking squatting over a toilet bowl. Welcome to Lostock Ale, Lostock Hall (2949 / 5109) of surprising depth, multi-roomed for heaven's sake! A former gift shop knocked through to a former charity shop to create a super-post-Lostock-tat-drinking den. Our guv'nor is the stand out feature for me, very switched on, interested, keeps his eye on me throughout! He even offers to switch more lights on to help with my photography. Rural Wiltshire, you'll never sing that. The Czech hopped beer stings my chest like when that stingray barbed poor man's Joe Mangel, Steve Irwin. The place smells like a car showroom, and I nearly bump into another Lancs BRAPA legend in the Paisley Prince (or is that Duncan Mackay?) Matthew 'SeetheLizards' Lawrenson, but he arrived just after we left. And then there were two!
Our shortest drive of the day takes us to Leyland, sure I came here on a bus/train with Matthew, but the GBG wanted me to come back - I notice there's also a Wetherspoons that is on and out of the Guide which I've never ticked, so don't be surprised if I make a third Leyland trip.
A very different type of atmosphere greets us at the Golden Tap Ale House, Leyland (2950 / 5110), a bright, sociable scene of colourful bar blockeriness from a loyal huddled faithful, and I'd say the most welcoming and typical Lancs environment we encountered today. The landlord again is impressive, resplendent in a retro Brazil away shirt which evokes Careca, Romario and Muller frustrations, Bebeto's baby celebration, and Branco looking a bit chubby. Ian remembers him (the landlord, not chubby Branco) from being equally impressive at some previous venture, which makes dropping off his 'Clitheroe Ale Trail' leaflets all the easier (I got one, read it on train home, and highly recommend it, although I've only visited about 3 pubs on it - 5 star review). The gaff has its limitations when we sit down, less room to swing a cat than I'd like, posing stools a bit uncomfy. But my Vanilla Stout goes down quicker than Neymar, and it is time to roll a few miles north of Preston. One to go!
Our final pub has recently put itself up for sale (they are sentient like that), and decreased its opening hours, evoking forgotten memories of that last Longridge entry - the most banter hobby micro in history which I was glad to see closed as I never made it there last year.
Despite double and triple checking, both myself and Ian conclude independently from each other that 'yes' it is very much open .... and we can't both be wrong, right?
Hood down, celebratory pose activated, Lancs complete at Applejacks, Longridge (2951 / 5111). Doubtful that this pub will be part of my final 4,500 fully completed GBG in the decades to come, but striding up to the bar today, you'd never have guessed this was a pub on its way out. Again, a bright breezy hospitable micro scene greets us. A mixed clientele gives it a community feel at this former greengrocers, I was impressed beyond my expectations (though it helped I wasn't expecting a Vine at Brierley Hill). Busy too, with tears of pride (not London) running down my cheeks (or was it rainwater?), I'm forced to take my pint of Reedley Hallows (surprisingly good) which nearly has an accidental Madri top (cross contamination threat) to the window as not one other seat remains. Looking out into the rain , a Pendle Witch silhouette on the building opposite, artificial flowers in gin bottles, it couldn't have felt more Lancs town. I could've dropped mi crisps outside WHSmiths. I even hear a couple speaking highly of Ian's Clitheroe Ale Trail guide on the way back from the loos, give him the Booker prize! Nice way to end, which county will be next to fall, and when? Place your bets now. Or don't.
There's some brief talk of pre-emptive strikes out Burnleh way, but we decide a 2024/25 car day might be the best option once I've done my in depth cross ticking of Lancs ... NOT that I'm paying the same amount of attention to it as I will say Cheshire, Devon and Oxfordshire next season. Plus my sister wants to go to Rebellion next year so let's hope Blackpool puts 58 cheeky new micros in and parties like it is Middlesbrough 2014.
Thanks for reading, and next time I'll try and explain why the Black Country is so good.
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