BRAPA in .... THE SCOTTISH COUNTDOWN : PT 5/5 (Pubs 4-1) SHOWER OF SCOTLAND

Good evening from BRAPA Towers,

I'm not sure I can justify devoting my full attention to Spain (the Man City of World Cup football) versus Cape Verde (the Rotherham of World Cup football). So I've got it on mute with the music by The Dead South on my iPhone because I can't be bothered to turn my stereo on.

Here are my four favourite pubs from my recent* holiday to Aberdeen & beyond.

*six weeks ago but never mind

4. Globe Inn, Aberdeen

10pm on my opening night, and I'm very much 'good early Blur' (Globe Alone - please try and keep up, you exhaust me). The giant screens remind me that the darts are on a few miles away, and I'm praying it doesn't end any time soon because I don't want the oiks drunkenly descending on me at this late stage. A beautiful red dotter, with a hugely impressive York Tap / Bodega-esque stained hexagonal dome celing feature. But better than both. The toilets not only smell nicer than YT, but the tiled 9/10 floor is one you could eat your dinner off if you're as drunk and hungry as me. Orkney were my stand out brewery of the week, and this Wave Breaker is day-glo orange heaven. A few last orders folk have started staggering in by now, all merrily pissed but they've not come from the darts because they aren't brandishing giant foam hands. Amusingly (for you), it is me who ultimately makes the biggest drunken tit of myself by failing to find the exit. Barmaid points me in the right direction with a "don't worry mate, we've all been there!" Charitable.

3. Clachnaharry Inn, Inverness

It were a rare auld yomp out to the edge of The 'Ness but my reward, away from the tourist guff of this warm Bank Holiday Sunday evening, is the locallest boozer atmosphere of the week. The accents were thick, the opening glances were of the 'Yorkshire Werewolf in Scotland' variety, but once I'd howled "Pint of Jarl (with a Y) pleyuze mate!" with articifial confidence, it settled down. From my position on the back wall looking into the pub, safely outta harm's way, I could appreciate the charms to the full. Pub stinks of greasy chips (pronounced 'cheps', as in 'Daddy, cheps, Daddy. cheps' .... was that a 90's advert, it has just come back to me). Fyne are nowhere near as consistent as Orkney, but a well kept Jarl is pretty impossible to beat. There's a feature on the tele about Zidane. This sparks the locals to debate 'Who is the best midfielder in WORLD football history?' The answer which most appears to satisfy the pub comes from a bloke who declares "I've got it down to three .... Paul McStay, Tommy Burns and John Collins". And that summed up this wonderful pub.

Early second half, Man City 0-0 Rotherham. Up the Millers!

2. Ythavnview Hotel, Methlick

With the intention of giving myself a psychological boost early on in my holiday, once I'd checked in, done a Tesco food shop and dumped my rucksack, I was straight onto an obscure bus. Problem is, I'd underestimated just how much of a remote one-horse village Methlick is. And I'd purposefully refused to work out 'how to get the hell outta here' for fear of talking myself out of the journey entirely. With afternoon sneaking towards evening, I was now starting to worry. 'Try and live in the moment, you'll only come here once in your life' I tell myself. The pub makes it easy to achieve. The exciting pink exterior opens up into a wooden floored / bench seating two roomer. My kinda pub. Only missing a 9/10 carpet (10/10 carpets don't exist btw). The pub has only recently opened today, and I bond with the sleepy landlord over Fyne annoyingly naming a beer 'Nonsense' but the 'No' is in a white font so is the beer actually called 'No Nonsense', 'Nsense' or 'Nonce Sense' ... neither of us know. The ale is fine (excuse the pun) but the half of Swanney I have later on is fresher. Ten minutes of enjoying the surrounds is quite enough .... down to business ... the local barflies have now descended so I interrupt their chat about Willie Mackay's turnip harvest to ask about local taxis. One tries to ring his taxi mate, which is very nice of him, but he ain't picking up. A chance comment saves me. The last bus of the day in 40 mins time actually goes through the centre of Ellon (I thought it only did the Park & Ride). This solves my problem because Ellon is a metropolis in comparison. And with a couple of gentle women-folk also arriving, I pull up a stool and we all sit in a semi-circle chating, which really got my spirits up the holiday ahead.

15 mins left, wow still 0-0. Go on ya miserable Millers, let's get a point!

1. Anderson, Fortrose

Astonishing unspoilt (old and tatty?) spooky hotel castle of a pub. Again there was a psychological element to this tick. It would've been easiy to settle on Inverness town, but knowing how hard 'Highlands & Western Isles' is gonna be in the coming years, I challenge myself to do something bussy. I'm actually amazed busses run on a Sunday up here on the Cromarty route. I didn't have time to do the Cromarty tick too, but chose this because it opens at 4pm making it the harder tick. Disconcerting beginnings. Firstly, they're fuming on Facebook cos someone nicked their plant the previous day! Once inside, I'm in near darkness confronted by a hotel check-in desk. Ever seen the Count Duckula episode 'Hardluck Hotel'? A bit like that. A kind staffer waves an arm and says "just go through to the bar". But I hesitate, does he mean the door behind the counter, or one to the left? An obnoxious hyperactive Yank (probably the plant thief) is on the scene and says "Duuude, he's told you to go through that door, DO IT" And what a bar it is. Freezing cold, wood burner in, stuff hanging everywhere, fusty smell of a library. Quirkier Micky Flanagan Hair (QMFH) sells me some exciting red fizz from Cromarty. Local brunette Rachel from my bus and her dog 'Mouth Breather' have wandered in, and make a nice comment about Ivor Panda, or was it the weather, or my GBG, I couldn't really hear her, and near the loos I find a back door I can escape from without any more ghostly hotel check-in desk or obnoxious American encounters.

And there you have it, four pubs you really should visit if you haven't.

I got six pre/post emptives out of the holiday too:

Craigellachie Hotel (Spey Inn)	Craigellachie	Aberdeen & Grampian	02/05/2026
Fierce	Aberdeen	Aberdeen & Grampian	02/05/2026
MacGregor's	Inverness	Highlands & Western Isles	03/05/2026
Gordon Highlander	Inverurie	Aberdeen & Grampian	04/05/2026
Ferryhill House Hotel	Aberdeen	Aberdeen & Grampian	05/05/2026
Badgers	Almondbank	Tayside	06/05/2026

Four I recognised from previous GBG's, the two that I didn't had no cask but that hasn't stopped CAMRA before so I'll be interested to see how Aberdeen & Grampian looks in the 2027 GBG which should drop (ugh!) in September. NOT that I plan to go back up that way for a decade or so. Inverurie 'Spoons incidentally is SUPPOSED to be in but they left it out of the paper edition by mistake. Tsk CAMRA, tsk!

See you tomorrow in a fun pub, up the Millers once more, and keep it pub.

Now, Belgium (Brentford) v Egypt (Norwich). Do I have the motivation?

Si