BRAPA in .... WATERLOO (COULDN'T ESCAPE IF I WANTED TO) PART 1/2

Saturday 3rd February, 2024

Nine pubs left to do on Merseyside, and I was aiming for six of them today, providing I didn't do anything stupid.

So it was quite stupid to sleep 40 minutes through my alarm, giving myself just 15 minutes to squirt on some deodorant, throw on clothes like I'm a human clothes horse, give my hair a quick fluff up, grab my fridge snacks, and scoot on down to York station where I nearly skidded on my bum outside the shitty Windmill pub because it was damp, and my purple Converse have zero grip.

But I made it.

A tumultuous start for new mascot, Ivor Panda.

At Manc Occy Road, the connexion (thanks Poirot!) was tighter than it should've been, so I had to dash over the footbridge, where I piled into a tiny train with a boatload of Everton & Spurs fans (12:30pm kick off at Goodison Park to add to this painful morning).

An innocent Spanish lady next to me asks if I can open the window as the carriage smells of arse. She ain't wrong.

In Liverpool, I purchase another amazing Saveaway day ticket (thanks Eddie F!) but my woes still aren't over as a load of sticky Toffee puddings squash onto my delayed train as far as Kirkdale.

Having finally seen them off, or so I thought, I alight at Orrell Park, down this grotbag main road, and into a grim looking 'Spoons slightly raised with a 70's arcade awning.

Raven, Walton (2629 / 4790)

The tempestuous swirly carpet is a nod to Edgar Allan Poe, whose stories were illustrated by a local man. I was involved in a Media Studies production of 'The Tell-Tale Heart' whilst at Uni, so I know all about Ed, though personally I think he sold out when he went on to present Crystal Maze. I rate 'Swords of a Thousand Men' though, a banger. I still hadn't quite seen off the last of the Bluenoses, necking rushed lagers, dashing for a final wee, a fleet of taxis waiting for them outside. The barmaid scrutinises my Mudgie voucher like a girl with trust issues which we must blame her ex for. But the Skylark Pale drank chirpy cheep cheap, and Ivor Panda got through a tricky pub debut unscathed.

'Eight Merseyside's to go, c'mon we can DO this' I say, psyching myself up, for that rushed morning routine meant that even now I felt half asleep.

A change at Sandhills takes me to Waterloo (not the London or ABBA one) where three of those remaining eight were - all micros too. That's the Scouse gamble. I had a moan to a nice old lady and a rough-arse dude with warty hands about the lack of open toilets on Merseyrail stations.

The early opener (well, 1pm) is my furthest walk, so I tackle that first ......

Old Tap, Waterloo (2630 / 4791)

The lovely bar manager (not owner, I wish these people wore badges so I knew their rank!) in his Rosenioresque scarf greets me warmly in this chilly box micro with plenty of heart. He makes the mistake of asking what I'm doing with my Saturday, so before long we are comparing GBGs, and he's giving me the low down on bus routes south of Abergavenny. My 'Land of Chocolate' beer lacks true chocolate oomph and might be better off being called 'Suburb of Chocolate' or 'Hamlet on the South Downs of Chocolate'. Asda lady arrives, smiles a lot, and drops off some dog biscuits, bleach and a handful of limes. A good evening in prospect. Finally, a Northern Irish couple arrive and get the same line of questioning that I did. They announce that they are breaking 'Dryanuary', in a defiant tone evoking Ian Paisley. "We shall never surrender ...."

I was not expecting my next closest pub to be open until 3pm, so what a Barry Bonus to find the blackboard declaring 'OPEN' at 14:13 .......

Four Ashes, Waterloo (2631 / 4792)

A family of four with the surname Ashe, I peer around the door and tell Mr Ashe I'm surprised to find them open, he is surprised I'm surprised, but tells me it is a recent change, and a check confirms Google STILL haven't updated the new hours despite being told twice. A gripe I hear a lot. I guess Facebook is the best source, providing it is an active FB page? Mug's game really this ticking malarkey. This is my pub of the day. Ambient temperature, cosy, great Wigan Brewhouse ale and Mr Ashe is such a great human being, like talking to an old friend. Talk about immediately feeling comfortable in someone's presence. Helps we have similar views on our pub loves/hates! No other customers until I'm on my dregs, then a group of local blokes arrive one by one. Ivor Panda even agrees our new friend should be allowed to do the greening.

So we end part 1 on a high. Would it last? Don't be silly, this is BRAPA.

See you on Thursday or Friday for part 2.

Si