BRAPA is .... A MAN ON A MISSON : NOTTS, LINCS & RUTLAND BY CAR
Si Everitt
3 minutes ago
7 min read
Sunday 8th June 2025
No more iconic a BRAPA day then bobbing up and down the A1(M) / A15 in Mummy BRAPA's 'yellow peril' (if I can call it that) with Daddy BRAPA at the wheel, in search of obscure pub ticks on the Eastern side of England.
A rare Sunday outing. Originally this was because of pub opening times at today's final tick in Misson, As it turned out, I'd been looking at winter hours, and summer's are more generous.
But the other reason was Poppleton Beer festival, which I'd attended on the Friday night, allowing me to sleep in on the Saturday, rehydrate and nurse any hangover I might've had .... but this year, I can at least remember the bus ride home, if not the 1am chicken.
We'd barely finished our cherry scone and flask of coffee, never mind posting my morning 'X/Bluesky' update, when Dad has is forced to swerve quite violently off the motorway due to a terribly short notice road sign. Cromwell really couldn't be closer to the A1(M) and whilst it looks a pretty village, the traffic noise must be murder.
Milestone Brewery Tap, Cromwell (3162 / 5648)
Since 2005, and it actually feels longer, Milestone are a brewery whose beers I've rarely got along with. I associate them closely with dark brown 10am pints in non GBG 'Spoons circa 2007. The type Dad would jokingly refer to as 'a pint of 'Spoons' and his friend, not understanding, would reply "errrm Bernard, I don't think Wetherspoons actually brew their own beer!" Main guy is vaping outside chatting on his phone, and follows us in. We're his first customers. Cheerful chap. With the taste of morning coffee still fresh in my mouth, the Honey Porter was always going to be my choice. 'Tis great. See, they DO do good beer. Anxious moment for Daddy B. Drama in the Everitt household this week as Virgin Money have TWICE blocked Mummy B's Sainsbury's weekly shop payment on their joint account. Would this payment go through? It did! Dad was so relieved, he gives the bloke full chapter and verse. Poor guy didn't ask. Then a pie man with a van appears, he has a brand new sign and he's setting up outside. Shame, a couple of pubs down the line, we'd have been all over that! Dad comments that if all we see is pies ahead of trad. Sunday lunches in dining pubs, we're doing well today. A basic brewery tap this, outdoor portacabin loos are very Temple Newsam festival 1999. A fridge full of lollies and ice creams is the only other point of note.
We're catapulted back onto the motorway before Dad's got chance to get any speed up, we're not fans of Cromwell, would be a far too disconcerting place to live.
Seconds later, Mummy BRAPA is on the phone in a flap ..... wanting to know if a transaction marked 'Milestone Brewery Tap' is genuine! Had Dad not briefed her on today's pub agenda?
We continue south to Rutland, which only puts seven pubs in the Guide cos it is a tiny suburb of Northampton ..... five of them I've done, but two new ones have appeared .....
Dreadful SatNav plottage nearly had us asking the elderly former headmaster of the old school house if he'd be good enough to provide us with real ale, but by chance we see Exeter Arms, Uppingham (3163 / 5649) tucked around the next bend, masquerading as a Horseshoe. And may I say what a delightful building to drink in. Gotta love those inner English mustard walls, but it was the nooks and crannies and peculiar shape that really give it character, all done in that Rutland stone. Solo men with East Mids accents are hidden around every corner, the urinals are a bit of a squash but it doesn't stop a bloke saying 'aroit maate' at VERY close quarters. The ale is pretty good, Langton Inclined Plane. Perhaps the most 'straddling the Rutland / Northants / Leics border' beer in 2024/25. Old fashioned bitterness, yet a modern lightness, acrid voracity, very wet. Look at me, top beer blogger. Definitely worth a visit.
A much kinder journey on the bladder was Uppingham-Oakham, waving at the chips in North Luffenham and the Ospreys on Rutland Water just as we had on my BRAPA Rutland debut in 2017. The pubs on that day were weaker than those I've experienced since ....
.... and despite our first and only sighting of Sunday lunchtime faces in the nosebag, plus the undeniable fact that Everard's pubs CAN be dull A.F., Wheatsheaf, Oakham (3164 / 5650) rises up against the odds. Most notably in the form of their beer quality. I've had some drossy Tigers over the years to compliment watching some drossy Tigers performances, but this, we agreed, our best Tiger since Bricklayers, Luton post-match 2004/05/06 after a 3-2 win. Sensational. And we'd made the no-brainer decision to escape the diners and sit in what proves a large, pleasant outdoor area (I'm NOT calling it a beer garden). Dad is particularly impressed by their pea plant and sign reading 'please use ashtrays when the floor us full' ..... top bantz. Good people too - previous trips to Oakham and everyone's seemed a tired of life. Decent way to complete the county.
As the worst football song in history says, we were marching on together past 3pm and that meant awkward Lincs outlier Swayfield was now open. 5pm in the winter when we were down here doing Castle Bytham, Irnham and the like, I probably should've tackled them altogether for Dad's sake, but all's well that ends well .....
Well sort of ..... a frightening right turn off the A1 across traffic, then stoopid SatNav tells us to do a u-turn for no apparent reason, so we have to loop around and do it ALL AGAIN. Fuming. Then an obscure single track lane with grass growing in the middle leads us to Swayfield. Even in Lincs terms, this was back o' beyond.
Royal Oak, Swayfield (3165 / 5651) is inevitably 'howl at the moon' and every head at the bar spins around Linda Blair style when we enter. But a real grower. Warm, cosy, 9/10 carpet stretching the length of the pub convincing me that if I were to sprout an extra finger, toe, webbing, and develop a yellow belly, then maybe I could retire here. And you can rest your warm stressed head on a cooling inner stone wall. The kind of things the GBG description really should be telling you. A really well kept Oakham Citra completes the picture, but I'm not impressed that in the year of our lord 2025 I have to ask him to top our pints up, and I don't mind a nice big 'ead, but there ARE limits. Kasey Palmer wanders past with a Henry Hoover, and Dad's 'sweeper system' gag probably deserved a bigger audience. A rare 'actual pub' in those nether Grantham/Sleaford environs. Already looking forward to the SEVEN new ticks in neighbouring villages they'll no doubt stick in the 2026 GBG. #ChurnHeavyLincs#LocalCamraHaveNoIdeaWhatTheirBestPubsAreSoRotateLikeBillio
Turning back onto the A1 is even more terrifying than turning off, as a dangerous dip in the road gives you the illusion it is clear when it isn't, eeek. Poor Dad, although technically I'm on the passenger side so would suffer first impact of any crash so poor me.
Not since RetiredMartin drove me to Leighton Bromswold in 2018 have I been so scared about a road turning.
Onwards north then, straddling that Notts/Lincs border, and just south of Gainsborough, we come to pub five .....
Despite the dropping 'G', which is always better than a splitting G, or a slippy G, Ingleby Arms, Marton (3166 / 5652) looks promising. This was both a surprise and relief as my fellow tickers who'd visited earlier in the year were quite uncomplimentary. A rowdy early evening crowd clutters the bar, but unlike every other Gainsborough area pub I've every visited with the exception of that Blues Club, not one rude scrotey bastard amongst them. Just "hi mate, get ya self in at t'bar". One ale on, purposefully (which perhaps is the cause of derision as most of my tickers prefer a selection of 'unique halves'). It is Bradfield Farmers Blonde. Perfection. A more crystal clear pint I've not seen all year. Vibrant Forest could never. From the back room, Dad comments that on a quiet weekday lunchtime, he could imagine this pub feeling gloomy, but we've certainly hit it right on this Sunday teatime. Oh, and another possible sign of the pubs limitations, they weren't able to provide ice for Dad's OJ, tsk.
Should've waited for it to settle, never mind
One final stop then, right on the northerly tip of North Notts, in fact it has a Donny address and we had to flirt with Bawtry to reach it ......
On a day of strong pubs, White Horse Inn, Misson (3167 / 5653) delivers the knockout blow. I whisper to Dad that its proximity to Yorkshire must be the reason, but he warns me I'm danger of sounding like a 'professional Yorkshireman' (i.e. George Whitebread - "I say what I like, and I like what I bloody well say!") Only the weird cream seats threatens to bring the beautiful tiled floor and low beams into disrepute, but there must be some age to this building, eee by gum. Oh and the beer, the beer! Tim Taylor Landlord is too widespread to be a universal classic, but when it is on top form, an absolute joy and the lacings on this told their own story. I've heard a rumour that North Notts is throwing in quite a bit of surprise new stuff in the 2026 GBG .... which never normally happens. But if they are all this good, faaarn (as we say in Hull).
So a reassuringly strong day considering none of today's pubs could be classed as GBG regulars in recent years.
More from Notts next time as we'll see if Mansfield could deliver (spoiler alert - it couldn't),
I'll try and bang that one out on Friday because a kind Lancastrian is driving me around North Yorkshire tomorrow!
Comments