BRAPA is .... GONE, GONE, REAL GONE(RBY) ..... Outer Grantham Special
Saturday 18th November 2023, 12:08pm
Daddy BRAPA Lincolnshire Car Day. Are there five happier words in the English language?
Those days when I hoped Lincs would sink below fen level, taking all its poxy Doom and Dining with it is but a distant memory.
I just can't seem to get enough of Lincs (duh duh duh duh duh duh). Whilst I can't quite smell the finishing line, I know it is within sniffing distance.
So when the new Good Beer Guide decided to pop in a bunch of never before seen outer Grantham dining pubs, I wasn't annoyed. I merely rejoiced.
Green Man, Ropsley (2533 / 4691)
Green door, what's that secret you're keeping?
The John Smith's lanterns seduced me into giving the unlikely green door a push. Had I looked a bit further down the line, I might've seen the more obvious entrance. But that would've spoiled the fun of intruding on the family home which I'm going to exaggerate now. Granny knitting in rocking chair, Mum hanging clothes on a horse, silent toddler playing with sticklebricks, a pudding singing in the copper, and a kind Daddy (not BRAPA or Bob Cratchitt) fixing a washer sees my look of barless confusion and directs us onwards to the pub. "Happens a lot" he says. What a top chap he is. I'd be furious. But he's chatty, interested and hospitable. And the beer, oh the beer is so good. 8 Sail. Been a mixed bag for me with that brewery in 2023 but not here. A great start, this pub was in the last edition too so maybe that is why it was a cut above today's average. The village church also allows you to practice autopsies!
Next up, another 2023 survivor. This one was (strictly speaking) south on the Daddy BRAPA 'Lincolnshire cut off line' but I won't tell him if you don't. Catching a bus out here looked almost as impossible as Ropsley.
Castle Inn, Castle Bytham (2534 / 4692)
I'm a bit too animated at the bar, wittering on to the barmaid and Daddy BRAPA about how I've decided to favour hoppy pales today , after several months on the malty brown stuff, so seeing White Rat is on is absolutely perfect, and they are both looking at me like "didn't need your life story mate!" We sit near an 8/10 woodburner. I'm a bit unlucky when one of the only other customers, Stringy Bob, decides to time his poo at the exact time I need my wee. Then a young lady in wellies and a farmer's jacket starts frantically searching the pub for her lost mobile phone. It had been decent.
'Oi dickhead, stop wittering'
About half way between Castle Bytham and the all encompassing Grantham, was the French sounding third village, depending on which road sign you look at ......
Cholmeley Arms, Burton le Coggles (2535 / 4693)
Considering we played this next pub experience to utter perfection, it was still without a shadow of a doubt the most dining of all dining pubs on a day of dining pubs. Just to be clear. It is a restaurant, let's be honest. The one pubby seat in the cosy main bar is surprisingly free, so I swoop in whilst Dad brings the Piper's crisps and drinks - I'm on the Landlord (not the man), absolutely superb. Speaking of landlord (the man), he gives the pub fire much attention, even blowing on it. 9.5/10 effort. Just to solidify my restaurant over pub opinion, two older men vacate the bar area with pints, and have to be told if they take a big sip first, they are less likely to spill them! For once, I have no words.
"Guv'nor, guv'nor, give it a blow"
"Crisps too m'lord?"
Pub #4 was a mid afternoon closure, annoying as it was our furthest north so would've been a good pub #6, but we couldn't afford to risk missing 'last orders' so had to tackle it now.
Plough Inn, Wilsford (2536 / 4694)
Oi dickhead, stop it with the fruity pose
Amazing landlady and quite the old fashioned parlour of a main bar, this was today's unlikley pub of the day contender. Our host (who I think RetiredMartin had been similarly impressed by recently) tells us it is Landlord (which I've just had) or bottom of the barrel Black Sheep (a beer I've never liked at the best of times). However, she knows her beery onions and tells me they use an old fashioned tilting system in the cellar (or something beyond my knowledge) so gives me a free half of BS too, and weirdly, it is a lot better than the Landlord! Like beautiful Black Sheep, one of the best I've ever tasted. A chatty couple arrive to tell me what's hot and what's not in Ancaster. Then we sit on a gigantic table in the foodier back room, and it is all very decent.
Oi dickhead, stop tilting
A couple of miles south, we find pub #5, another one of those absolutely nowhere near a bus route banter Lincolnshire sausages of a pub .....
Crown & Anchor, Welby (2537 / 4695)
Fifth pub of the day syndrome, so I can't furnish you with intricate detail at this particular Lincs gastro effort, which was either unmemorable because it actually was, or because I was feelin' the boozy burn. I hadn't seen Hobgoblin on a bar for a long time, and it is probably for nostalgic reasons, but I always like a pint around that Hallowe'en - Bonfire Night period. Smooth, rich and dark, my pale ale quest hadn't lasted very long had it? The woodburner is an encouraging 8/10. And my main memory is being able to keep an eye on our car through a giant bay window, like we once did in East Hull, although the chances of it being nicked it Welby were slimmer.
Our final tick was just north west of Grantham, which at least gave us a swifter getaway towards York onto the A1(M).
It was the time of day when photos like this started appearing on my camera reel ....
But I was able to right myself, chuck Dad my phone and get us back on track ....
Recruiting Sergeant, Great Gonerby (2538 / 4696)
Contemporary evidence tells us that Bernard (that is Daddy BRAPA) was a top raconteur and that I conducted myself impeccably. This was corroborated by Colin the Cauliflower. I also spoke favourably of the staff, and the beer, an obscure brew from Bromsgrove was a serious contender for beer of the day, I was convincing myself I'd drunk myself sober at this point but this is doubtful. We'd both later comment that the pub had been a 'grower', better for easing into, and I remember us huddled together in quite a cosy space.
Back in York having made excellent time, there was even time for a bonus pint at the excellent but criminally under used (by me) Slip Inn.
It had been a surprisingly fun filled day, which just shows the value of going into these experiences with a positive frame of mind - it may not counteract bad beer (none of which we'd had today) but it can certainly stop you feeling too miserable about the more dining led pubs.
I'lll give you a rest tomorrow but I'm P-P'ing my Thirsty Thursday so I'll be back then to tell you what is going down in rural County Durham.
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