Wednesday 25th October, 2:31pm
The beauty of Walsall. High on the BRAPA agenda for many years now, and by the end of my four days here, I was declaring it one of the top 5 pub towns I've visited. Probably top 3, possibly top 1. Hey Norwich, how do you like them apples?
My only previous visit came in April 2005, also with Daddy BRAPA who was with me today. We were eager to see if the excellent basic backstreet mystery pub we visited pre-match could be identified. Would anything ring any bells?
We had to be at St Andrews (the Birmingham vehicle, not the Fife one) for 7:45pm kick off, so best get cracking with the pub ticks. I'm challenging myself to write no more than six lines for less pain all round, but still do this wonderful town justice.
Black Country Arms, Walsall (2479 / 4637)
Black Country Ales don't do rubbish, that is rapidly becoming clear. Stand out feature for me is how they manage to make such a ridiculous range of beers disappear so quickly (never had anything other than tip-top quality in their pubs) but I think the locals need to take a lot of credit for that! Not my favourite BCA house. Brighter, shinier, crazy high ceiling. "How do they change the lightbulbs?" says a cute old dude who sits with us. He travels in from Bloxwich. He must be about 700 yrs old, as he gives us a potted history of pubs past and present in the area. Hallowe'en Oakham superb. Good start.
Lyndon House Hotel, Walsall (2480 / 4638)
Carpet down, fire in, scran ordered at the cosy pub hotel bar just around the corner from the BCA, not sure we are on same wavelength as the barmaid - there seems to be lots of misunderstandings in the ordering process, but she seems nice! Sausage and mash for me, delicious, £6 wow! I leave the spinach, I'll never be Popeye will I? But there is green in the mash to stop me feeling too guilty. Holden's Best is drinking lighter than I'd expected, but great with the gravy. "The place to stay, for Walsall away" says Sutton's modern beat poet Mark Bravery. He ain't wrong. Wish I'd booked in!
Walsall Arms, Walsall (2481 / 4639)
Barmaid of the day at this backstreet classic which definitely isn't our 'mystery pub'. Hallowe'en decor is going up, she ropes in a local bloke to jump onto the bench seating around us to hang bats and swirly bits from curtain rails. Commitment. She reckons an airlock in my Salopian is caused by a haunting. Took a few top ups but we get there. Degree or two more warmth would've been nice, but plenty emanating from staff & unimpressed local codgers to make up for it. What a place Walsall was turning out to be!
Wheatsheaf, Walsall (2482 / 4640)
Fabulous fever dream of a spooky cavernous Victorian property in the Autumn time, locals and staff are so no nonsensely bonkers, it makes the Walsall Arms look positively restrained. I lurch across grubby bar blocking hi-vizzers to grab my 'Wholesome Stout'. They allow me to use the disabled loo for fear of me going missing Scooby Doo style in search of the gents. Dad chats to a fluffy dog. Then we sit with a generous but slightly insane bloke who invites us to nick a Curly Wurly, but then some young punk comes along and swipes them just out of our grasp. Harrrumph!
Daddy B. is confident we can squeeze one more on before the train to Brum, so who am I to argue?
Victoria 'Katz', Walsall (2483 / 4641)
First time we'd considered the possibility of discovering our 'mystery pub' here, but it soon evaporates, wrong layout and not backstreet enough! Guv'nor seems canny, the pub is winding down from a beer festival so they are selling the beer off £2.50 a pint. I'd normally take a dim view of such a tactic, Bowland Beer Hall style, but Walsall being Walsall, my Hazy Daisy tastes better than 90% of Scottish pints. Man opens the outside door to roll his Rizzla, then closes it again. Interesting move. Walsall, wow, stop it now okay, you are great, we get it, jeez, show off!
Only Hull City could spoil the day now ...... wait for me Daddy B!
But they don't, an easy and very solid 2-0 win in Rooney's first home game in charge. Well, I'm sure any Derby fans reading will know Rosenior was the true brains behind that operation!
I say farewell to Dad, somewhere close to Duddeston's Dixy Fried Chicken, he's driving home to York but I'm off back to Brum to check in at a Premier Inn for the next few nights. Despite getting the wrong hotel, it is still ONLY 11pm by the time I dump my bag so time for a last orders tick to make it six?
Briar Rose, Birmingham (2484 / 4642)
Imposing shiny Wetherspoons which has come dressed as a lass from Dewsbury on a hen do, I'm still rating the pub carpet a 9 as a stand alone item, just don't look at the patterns all together. Weird atmosphere. Ginger students who struggle with pub etiquette, tourists who have wandered in by mistake, exhausted staff with baggy eyes (not West Brom eyes, that'd be weird), and a cheeky bloke next to me who gives his wife the middle finger, laughs, and nearly gets a slap. Good-o.
Well, that was nice and streamlined wasn't it, bet you moaners even managed to read it in the alloted 7 minutes. Well done.
Same time tomorrow for part two?
See you then, Si
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