BRAPA is .... TRYING TO BE NORMAL IN SOUTH NORMANTON (Part 2/2)
Saturday 27th July 2024, 2:30pm
Halfway through my final Derbys/Notts ticking day of the 2023/24 season and I'm feeling a little bit happier now that the Roots Emporium in Kimberley, Notts is FINALLY ticked at the third time of asking.
Our intrepid chauffeurs Rich and Steve return us to the relative sanctity of Derbyshire for the first of two ticks in South Normanton, Daddy BRAPA was with me wide awake in the backseat of their car (was that a Roxette b-side? You know it was).
Steve's BRAPA posing is really flourishing as he gets more BRAPA experience under his belt, although the same couldn't be said for Thrive next door which wasn't thriving. A first trip to this honest little hovel of a town since 12th July 2019 when the Devonshire Arms thrilled me with some madcap local action including someone switching on a TV on with a remote control stuck to the end of a pool cue with some gum. No such excitement at Market Tavern (2928 / 5088) but a functional bright happy micro nonetheless. Two points to note. The beer was called 'My Dad's a Boogler'. But is he? Someone who smuggles in illegal merchandise apparently. Do occasional beef paste and tomato sandwiches count? If so, guilty! Urban dictionary meaning, someone with no musical experience who googles a band, to infringe on the coolness of people who are genuinely into them. Sounds more likely! In other news, the pub had a fine array of plushies including an oversize Winnie the Pooh, so Colin went to make friends and sat on Dave the dog. End.
One day, I'll finally try a pint of Lord Marples
A couple of centimetres down the street, we came to our other South Normie .....
With an exciting Peveril of the Peaky shaped exterior, Clock Inn, South Normanton (2929 / 5089) was a welcoming grumbly tonic after three consecutive modern micros, and my second favourite pub today after Heanor's Redemption. It felt distinctly 'farmhouse' indoors, and the bearded gent behind the bar agrees with my hatred of Joan Osbourne's 'What if God was one of us?', one of the most pukeworthy songs ever written IMO. He guarantees 'there's a different song on the way', which providing they aren't playing this track on an interminable loop (they use at Guantanamo I hear) seems a reasonable assertion. The Pheasantry Bitter hits the spot, which I don't always find with Pheasantry beers, and all in all, this was top basic boozering.
Conflicting social media opening hours at today's final pub, it now made sense why Rich had planned this in for our last stop off point despite its relative northern outposty location.
Some sources said noon, some said 4pm, and with the evidence presented to me, I'm suspecting 4pm might be the more accurate. And so it proves, ye can't teach BRAPA experience like that (in the voice of Alan Hansen).
3:50pm when we arrive so we go a-wanderin' in various directions, I see a few curtains twitch as I provoke the local neighbourhood watch. I also wrestle with a jagged brick wall, and think it was here where I skimmed a layer of skin off my left arm, which took 2.5 weeks to recover, though I enjoyed playing with the scab during Billy Joel in Cardiff. 3:59pm and the door pings open at the Hilcote Arms, Hilcote (2930 / 5090) where I fail to take one indoor photo to trigger any memories. I'd like to tell you this oversight was more about my focus on being sociable and 'in the moment', and not alcohol related in any way. I liked it. I think. I drank 'Ay Up' by Dancing Duck. Bit too pale to excite me. What does the GBG tell us? Refurbed 2017 having been closed since 2014. Four handpumps. Wood burner. Dog friendly. Children til evening. Designer Outlet nearby. Errrm, nope, not much help! Oh, I think it was Rich (and maybe also Steve's) last Derbyshire tick in the 2024 GBG, and Daddy BRAPA got the honour of doing the ticking .... evidenced by this photo I purloined.
Col's like 'pink and blue, WTF maaan?'
So there we have it! Well almost, still time to pop into the newest of Derby's amazing station trio the Victoria for a nice little Bass .....
I'm down to one Derbyshire tick. Rosliston. Which is Staffs anyway if you think about it really hard.
See you all on Tuesday where I'll tell you what happened when I bit of more than I could chew in North Lancs and South Cumbria.
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