So here we are, the top eight pub experiences of my week in Scotland .....
8. Ship Inn, Broughty Ferry (visited Thursday 14th September 20:30)
'Time of visit' can be so important in this pub ticking game. Had I been determined to tick this one off on the sunny Saturday afternoon previously, I could well have found myself sat in a corner greetin' (as we say in Scotland), bet I'd have hated it. I'd been stood on the harbour front photographing it, when one of those clown/mini scenarios ensue. About 20 people all get out of a small car, make their way to the entrance of this small one roomer, and I thought "eff that for a game of soldiers, I'll save this tick for another day". And it worked out perfectly. This nice bloke off X/Twitter, a Broughty resident called Adam wants to meet me late on the Wednesday evening, 9pm at the nearby Royal Arch Inn, which incidentally had only been pre-emptive back on Saturday, but now I KNEW it was a 2024 GBG lock in. So half an hour before meeting him, I leapt like a Scottish salmon from train station to this perfect little rectangular pub, necking what I can only describe as stupendous quality Puffin in super quick time. The lighting is low, the ambience serene, music traditional, hubbub gentle, barman kind. Outside a strong wind whips up, though the air temperature is mild. Streets are silent, sky is black. Rushed pub experiences aren't generally great, but my increased adrenaline tonight set against the calm atmosphere within, plus my unwillingness to take anything for granted after a poor day down at Dunfermline/Limekilns, all meant the stars aligned for a top drawer experience.
7. Royal Arch Inn, Broughty Ferry (visited Thursday 14th September 9pm)
And it is only right that we should continue .... sequentially (ooh, I did that in the voice of Austin Tasseltine, thanks Austin. Obscure reference). Anyway, I'm a bit in love with the Royal Arch from the beautiful stained glass windows to the 9/10 carpet, it felt very much a pub whilst the other BF ticks had felt a bit 'seaside bar'. Adam was a bit later than 9pm, so it gave me time to drink in the atmosphere and an excellent Ossett White Rat - my first English beer of the week, but not a bad way to end the run! I'd rate it not quite on a par with the Fox Inn, York quality, but good anyway. Not impressed the barmaid nibbled nuts throughout pulling it, worried she'd contaminate the glass and my mouth would swell up so I kept wiping rim of glass. Nut allergy sufferers. Pubs need educating. Adam arrives, lovely chap, end up having to sprint for the last bus to Dundee, which I only make because three people are waiting at the stop. Phew! A great whirlwind of an hour in Broughty Ferry.
6. Criterion, St Andrews (visited Wednesday 13th September 6:25pm)
Armed with my newly found knowledge of what the 2024 GBG Kingdom of Fife entries were throwing at me, I arrive back in St Andrews from Ceres full of the joys of autumn, and this boisterous little funk house, reminiscent of some of those classic real ale bars you find in the centre of Edinburgh, was the perfect place to unleash my good mood! Even the gorgeous wet nosed dog had me smiling. "He'll say hi to anyone!" says the scarfy owner (just when I thought I was special!) The bar blockers don't even faze me, and the jolly bar bloke who might or might not have been from Finland, is glad I've gone for the Nomad Pale because he's not tried to it yet and wants to know my verdict. "Errrrm, peppery?" I venture. "PEPPERY??" he asks. "Maybe. I can't rush my assessment, I'll have to sit down and think about it" I say, which I do (in truth readers, it tasted like a nice pale ale, if you can pick up on the vagaries of Galaxy and Ella hops, fair play to you. I'll stick with admiring winning pub interiors). Possibly the happiest I felt in a pub / bar all week this.
5. Phoenix, Dundee (visited Saturday 9th September, 1:30pm)
One of those famed 'institutions' that you hear about in the shadows, the biggest problem I find is being disappointed! But that was never going to be the case here. An eclectic madhouse on this Saturday lunchtime, if you drew a clientele pie chart, it'd be split three ways with tourists, young music loving Dundonians, and gnarly old Tennent's drinkers making up each third, with a 1% sliver left over for me n Col. I'd half been expecting the worst (i.e. a shut pub) when I'd heard it was up for sale, but surely no way this is closing. Though if it did, I suppose it could rise from the ashes like all good Phoenii do. I miss the Loch Lomond guest hiding in darkness at the far end, as per Scottish cask beer rules, so end up on the Deuchars, but I don't care. Despite having to force my rucksack through a series of narrow gaps (I hadn't checked in to my accommodation at this point), I find this secluded snug. Leather green bench seating, tiling, stained glass wooden partitions. Beautiful pub, especially with the sun streaming in. I must be in the right place, because I'm soon joined by the lady who served me, who sits down with a large plate of haggis, neeps and tatties, and a large yellow book, and woe betide anyway who disturbs her, they'll be told 'gae boil ye heid'. Frank Sinatra once famously came here to perform, now it was the turn of Colin the Cauliflower. Altogether now "Cauliflowers fluffy, cabbages green .....".
4. Commercial Inn, Dunfermline (visited Wednesday 14th September, 4:15pm)
"It won't be this bleak forever ..... yeah right!" sing American grouch rockers 'Spanish Love Songs', possibly after a day out exploring Dunfermline and Limekilns. But what is this place? A joyous ray of light, a giant sunbeam (not Banks's), a religious experience swimming the seas of Galilee surrounded by vinegary serpents, step forward Commercial Inn to rub it better and send me on my way with a big sloppy coffee porter flavoured tongue kiss. The last part of Scotland I'd expect to find a 'beer destination' pub, but this was it. It might not be the prettiest or most ornate in my top 8, but I tell yer what, it was proper braw. Cosy, welcoming, bare boarded and smelt like Rabbie Burns left armpit, in a good way. The majority of people are here cos they want to drink and laugh and nothing more. Unprecedented. I could've stayed here all day had I not been a pub ticker. Stupid hobby. When Hull City play Dunfermline away in the Tunnock's Caramel Windscreen Trophy in 2038, I'm here bang on opening time and drinking right through to kick off. Colin has put it in his top 50 for the UK! Lad.
3. Speedwell Bar 'Mennies', Dundee (visited Saturday 9th September, 2;20pm)
Just when I'm thinking Phoenix couldn't be topped for Dundee pub quality, we meet 'Mennies', and it really couldn't have been better situated for where my little self catering hoose was, not to mention my Sainsbury's local on t'other side of the road. How I didn't visit more than once is a mystery to me. One of those unspoilt architectural triumphs, unassuming entrance, cafe culture pavement Dundee style, Yorks/Lancs/West Mids in feel, with its central corridor, unique multi rooms, heritage bits, tiled everything, mosaics, and impressive Shanks bogs, though I'm not too sure about the 'odourless' claims. Maybe 100 years ago. Pint of Deya to supplement my earlier pint of All Dayer? Rhymes, so why not, may as well enjoy it to the max. Cannae check in just yet anyway. Didn't make the best of start regarding room choice, far too stuffy, sealed off and quiet. So I go a wanderin' and find myself loitering in the bar area, everyone is gnarly like a McDickensian dream, and this being day one, I haven't quite adapted to the Dundonian tongue. I end up in the lovely red room you see above, and although invisible cos he's a vampire, I get chatting with this nice but indecipherable old bloke opposite about the Tayside pub scene, and he is tickled by Colin, which didn't happen enough this week!
2. Railway Inn, Lower Largo (visited Wednesday 13th September 12 noon)
"I like to think of myself as a pub whisperer" I tell the chilled out long haired surf dude manning the bar at this railway memorabilia clad wooden one roomed jewel. Hopefully, it didn't sound pretentious and the 'tongue in cheek' way in which I'd intended it came across! I cup my ear to the wall comedically just to make sure. I was of course, waxing lyrical on my favourite subject apart from Neighbours ... BRAPA! Some folk are just easy to talk to aren't they? Always something going on in this pub, he tells me, live music, quiz nights, festivals, lunches, I just so happen to have entered at the one time of year when the pub is empty. Sure. Funny how often I'm told that! Pubs don't need to create an illusion of busyness 24/7 to impress me, I like to be in empty pub once a while, especially ones like this where the atmosphere thrums with generations past. That's the sort of thing a pub whisperer would say isn't it?
1. Albert Tavern, Freuchie (visited Friday 15th September 4pm)
I had to wait until the final day of my holiday for this tick, partly so I could make a 'Freuchie Friday' joke. But also because the guv'nor's well intentioned blog post revealing 'new updated opening hours' only muddied the waters further, but mid afternoon on a Friday seemed a safe bet! With the rain siling it down outside, I'm welcomed into the bosom of this ultra locals local - a bit like a Kentish micro, if you are staying in this chummy intimate front bar, you'll get chatting, no doubt about it. At this late stage of the holiday, the shackles were off and I was full of honorary Scottish feelings. So much so, that this Lancashire Gold, gorgeous as it is, is just way too ENGLISH for me. I explain I've had the Orkney already this holiday, and I really wanted a Scottish beer in every pub. "Well there is one Scottish beer you've probably not had this week" chirps up the wise cracking youthful one (probably about 50 years old). He might be joking but I do a few quick bus time calculations in my heid, say "GREAT IDEA", and catapult myself off my high stool on the back wall to the bar for the Tennent's you see above! My most 'liked' pub photo on X/Twitter of the week. At the bar, I moan to the barmaid that the modern day Stewart's pint glasses annoy me. She shows me an old style one, much more tasteful and gives me one as a souvenir of my visit here. Normally folk have to nick pub glasses, but not here in Freuchie. My favourite of the locals is an adopted son from Sheffield, a Blade. Surprising cos past experience tells me they are a bitey bunch. Not him, he got freaky with a Freuchie lass and the rest is history. Brilliant pub anyway, but made all the better for the great craic, classic beer and free glass. That's how you win BRAPA pub of the month.
And there ya have it. That was a fun countdown to write up. The following day, it was back home to York, surely my new GBG would be waiting for me, wouldn't it?
Ambitious midweek ticking coming up so join me on Friday for 'BRAPA : the Embargo Years' to find out more.
Si
