BRAPA .... MUNDAY BOIS 1-0 SUNDAY GIRLS (TALES FROM RURAL KENT)
Saturday 13th July, 11:10am
When Paul G (@/GBG_Kent) messaged me on Twxtter a few months back declaring his intention to help me achieve 100% BRAPA Kent completion, I obviously jumped at the chance.
I've been working steadily on Kent since 2022 (with big shout out to Richard Pitcher) but I keep stalling around the 90% mark, so need that final push to get over the line. Such a rewarding pub county too. The West Midlands of the South East? And easily do-able from York in the day.
Daddy BRAPA was allowed to come along too, but Colin had got his bum sticky on evil keg in Hackney the previous week, so Oscar the Owl returned for the first time since October.
He wished it was a mouse cake slice for breakfast, but he's just grateful not to have been binned off to the British Heart Foundation ....
We were in Paul's home town of Faversham early, a new town for Daddy B, so I give him a brief guided tour. Truly a place I could live. Is there a better town in Kent? I also like Folkestone. Maybe it is an 'F' thing.
Elephant, Bear, Sun, Furlongs, not forgetting Shipwrights if you squint a bit towards Sheppey, Fav is a great pub town too. Good job none where open yet or I may've lost discipline.
Our circular walk takes us back to the station where our carriage awaits, and it is immediately apparent that Paul is a lovely chap, keeping up my record of liking everyone I've met through pub Twxtter.
Could you be the first BRAPA arsehole? Please apply. All you need is a car and to be located somewhere like West Wales, the Scottish Highlands or Somerset.
First up is the Bowl Inn, Hastingleigh (2906 / 5066) , the pub that has been living Kent-free in my head (thanks!) more than any other due to its remote location and distance from nearest train or bus stop. Paul is a true Man of Kent (not a Kentish man, get it right. Hope I got it right!) so he navigates his way down these winding country lanes with no need for modern navigation. Incredible scenery, we could see all the way down to the coast in what is definitely NOT called South Kent. There is an east and west, maybe a north. I learned a lot today, and forgot more. Our pub thankfully pings open at noon and a warm stringy young fellow (not Stringfellow) serves me one of today's best beers, Gadds' HPA, though I'd heard tales of a 101 year old landlady working here so it is a shame we didn't see her. Or the #PubOwl. Yes, this pub until recently had a pet owl in the garden, but Paul says it was tethered and looked a bit forlorn, so perhaps it has been rehomed (or to use the modern parlance 'they've BCA'd the shit out of it'). Solid rural Kent wholesome tick to kick us off. Now everything on our radar was to the west.
Oscar scrutinises Paul's debut BRAPA tick
Desperately seeking owly
One of today's shorter drives takes us to a made up place called Smeeth, but there's time for Paul to teach us more of his rich heritage - his family could have been the inspiration for the original 'The Darling Buds of May' - meaning he could have been the inspiration for the boy! And his surname derives from 'Godwin' which means he could be related to that dude who got an arrow in his eye down the road in Hastings.
Less exciting was today's second pub, easily today's one weak spot .....
Set in the most twee 'industrial state' in Pissendom, Dog House, Smeeth (2907 / 5067) had super cheerful staff, but super tired beer ..... cigarettes where there were supposed to be eyes! You'd think just having one on, it'd be in prime condition, but flat as a pancake and warm with it. Flavour not too bad. Place itself, well you could see what style they were going for - nod to the pub and lighting of olden days, but with irritating kitchenette style, exposed brick work, dog prints and music - not for me Clive. Best decision was probably Daddy BRAPA's 'two packets of Kent crisps' which soothed the experience with a satisfactory crunch - and in the absent of carpet, I'll award them 8/10 (where Yorkshire crisps are a 9 and Lancashire a 7). Does Oxfordshire do crisps? Asking for a 2025 GBG ticker. On the way out, the amazing staff (easily the pub highlight) ask Paul where we are off to next, and when he tells them, he's asked to say hi to Leeza.
Not pint of the year material
So we end Part 1 with a pub I was excited to visit.
Growing up, like most boys in my year at primary school down in Saffron Walden, I was obsessed by this Usborne book called 'Mysteries of the Unknown'. It had a ghosts, monsters and UFO section, and was always out at the library.
'Ghosts' was my favourite, one of my favourite pages being 'the village with a dozen ghosts .... Pluckley'.
Well, we drove straight through the centre of Pluckley and I did not see one ghost! Not that I was looking. Paul did tell me about the interesting Dering windows most of the buildings have.
But I'm here for the pub ticking, let's not forget, as we emerge from the car to the most tranquil beautiful setting so far .... all ghostly thoughts vanquished immediately.
Rose & Crown, Munday Bois, Pluckley (2908 / 5068) here we are, and Paul is as good as his word asking after Leeza as instructed. Yes she is one of the two ladies. But it is a very awkward exchange. Memory loss, or deliberately obtuse, I couldn't tell. You know on BBC Breakfast when Naga Munchetty gets it into her head that she's going to make life difficult for a young reporter or well meaning guest? Just like that! She eventually says "Aaah yeah, Dog House, Smeeth" but when Paul adds that he was in here being served by her quite recently, and knows she does good charity fundraising, again, crickets! Not to worry though, joyful pub in the main. Best yet. Beer from Hopfuzz in superb nick, though I preferred the HPA. Paul is the first person I've met who admits Harvey's Sussex Best causes him the same 'issues' as me! A malt thing, I believe. Delicious vaulted ceiling, random load of corks doing nothing, and quality antique furniture, this was a fine rural pub. Limited loos. Having been 'forced' to use the ladies in Smeeth, it was Dad's turn here. Who are these random Men of Kent who spend forever blocking cubicles? Don't tell me Big John is back from his Whitley Bay hiatus. Anyway, moving swiftly on ....
Well, we'll actually leave it there and I'll be back tomorrow night for the Month End Review.
I'm #ThirstyThursdaying , so will hope to be back for Part two of this on Friday.
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