You might wonder, why I am sat here, live from BRAPA Towers, brandishing a can of Strongbow Dark Fruits.
It was gifted to me by a Sheffield Wednesday fan on the way back from Birmingham earlier this month when they overheard my travel companion 'accidentally' call them scumbags, leading me to smooth things over for the next hour.
These are the kind of things that happen on BRAPA days out. You probably know that by now.
"They never denied it though, did they?" pointed out my unrepentant travel companion when they 'alighted' at Sheffield. He (or she, but probably he) wasn't wrong.
Meet the month end committee. They are here to help me make sense of this bonkers record breaking pub year.
From left to right : Ivor Panda, Marvin Melon, Oscar Owl, Colin Cauliflower & Pedro Plum
We'll hand out monthly awards, which will get increasingly random as the Dark Fruits / hopefully better drinks go down. Best county, best pub, best song, best BRAPA guest star, pub best avoided. And a 'try also' section in tribute to those early 00's Good Beer Guides.
January : Bright Beginnings
Late night MerseyRail madness really summed up my January
My pub ticking year began with a BRAPA invasion of Southport ( amazingly not actually the worst thing to happen to Southport in 2024) and the Fleetwood & Hesketh Sports & Social Club was my first tick of the year on 6th Jan. It was pub number 2582. My last (Portly Pig in Ripon) was 2891.
That illustrates the progress I've made, a gain of 309 pubs notwithstanding the cruellest of cruel Good Beer Guide churns in September ... which we'll get to.
For now, all was rosy in the BRAPA garden as Merseyside took a healthy battering, followed up with a bonus weekend away in Kent. It was the best BRAPA January in history.
9 Anchors, Seaton Carew
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Merseyside
PUB OF THE MONTH - Butchers Arms, Herne
TRY ALSO - Coach & Horses, Greasby / Augustus John, Liverpool / 9 Anchors, Seaton Carew / Microbus, Gateshead / Black Lion, Kilburn / Red Lion, Milstead
BEST AVOIDED - Fountain of Ale, Sittingbourne
SONG OF THE MONTH - Okkervil River - Down Down the Deep River
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Richard Pitcher
Butchers Arms, Herne. The original micro, and one of the best on this showing.
Richard Pitcher, Master Brew and Colin showing off (Alma, Painters Forstal)
February : Northumbrian Charge
Leanne at Whiston's Beer EnGin doing the decisive Merseyside tick
I could smell the Merseyside finishing line by early Feb, and I achieved it at the Beer EnGin in Whiston, and didn't they embrace the occasion? Lovely people.
I stayed in the north all month actually, too cold to venture to the warmer south. That makes no sense does it?
West Yorkshire followed, whilst GMR and Lancs took a healthy hit. The month culminated in my first ever BRAPA holiday to Northumberland. Chilly, difficult, beer occasionally suspect, but on the whole, a cracking land to explore.
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Northumberland
PUB OF THE MONTH - Ship Inn, Low Newton by the Sea
TRY ALSO - Ship, Lathom / Prince Albert, Westhead / Curfew, Berwick / Vines, Liverpool
BEST AVOIDED - Trap & Hatch, Waterloo
SONG OF THE MONTH - The Brokedowns - Shitty Little League
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Si Everitt. Yes me. Hang your head in shame, no one drove me around even once , tsk!
Saturday evening outdoor drinking at the Olde Cross, Ryton Village
The most perfectly balanced pub dog manifesto - Ship Inn, Low Newton by Sea
March - Spring is Sprung
Colin makes friends with the bald brothers of the Victoria, Derby
March yielded a fantastic 51 ticks considering I didn't really take any time off work. Easter helped. Well done Jesus.
My focus shifted slightly away from the north, with the East Midlands becoming the apple of my eye with Derbyshire and Leicestershire the top counties. Lancashire progress continued, and I even had time to sneak in a couple of tricky Northants and North Yorkshire outliers.
Colin getting bullied by Blackpool Soo the Panda while Jane turns a blind eye, J D Drinkwater's Alehouse, Blackpool
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Leicestershire
PUB OF THE MONTH - Unicorn, Lutterworth
TRY ALSO - Hop Shoppe, St Anne's / Red Lion, Kniveton / Victoria, Derby / Quirky Den, Whitby / Rock, Coalville / Queens Head, Hinckley.
BEST AVOIDED - Nothing was too terrible but Wheel & Compass in Weston by Welland was suffocating and cliquey.
SONG OF THE MONTH - Sincere Engineer - Cinderblocks
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Rich & Steve, Derbyshire
Rich & Steve enjoy the adequate pubbing charms of Spondon's Hoptimist
April - The Green Green Grass of Glamorgan
"I'll celebrate on my own, I'll celebrate on my owwwwn" BRAPA birthday celebrations in Aberthin (and yes, the bus didn't turn up, though 10 years ago that day, it caught fire in Ampthill so that's progress)
I'd barely had time to catch my breath, never mind mend my ailing liver, from the rigours of Easter in Leics when I found myself in Glamorgan for BRAPA's tenth birthday celebrations.
44 pubs across the whole month was quite a modest return by 2024 standards, as I moved onto Essex and London, plus there was more from Derbyshire and Greater Manchester.
Real pubbing in Patricroft
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Glamorgan
PUB OF THE MONTH - Red Lion, Penderyn
TRY ALSO - Goyt Inn, Whaley Bridge / Stanley Arms, Patricroft / Butterfly Collector, Barry / Rifleman, Twickenham / Woolpack, Witham
BEST AVOIDED - Buxton Cellar Bar, Buxton
SONG OF THE MONTH - Helen Love - On My Own
PINT THAT MOST DIDN'T TASTE LIKE IT SHOULD OF THE YEAR - Ossett White Rat, Abercorn Arms, Teddington
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Simon & Daddy Dewhurst (Essex & Herts)
Dewhurst father & son fun at Witham's best pub
May - Shout Out to my Exeter
New mascot? Pub of the month Poachers Inn, Ide
A mini-break in Exeter kicked off a devilish debut year in Devon was the cornerstone to my 47 ticks in May. I was tracking one pub above what was needed for a record breaking BRAPA year.
Greater Manchester, Kent and more East Midlands kept me going in what was a quieter second half of the month when I stopped feeling thirsty enough for #ThirstyThursdays.
Star Inn, Higher Broughton
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Devon
PUB OF THE MONTH - Poachers Inn, Ide
TRY ALSO - Bridge Inn, Topsham / Exeter Inn, Topsham / Star Inn, Higher Broughton / Brew Brothers, Fernwood / Cannon Inn, Newton Poppleford / Maltings, Newton Abbot / Hourglass, Exeter / Royston, Broadstairs.
BEST AVOIDED - Scotsman's Pack, Hathersage
SONG OF THE MONTH - Turnstile - New Heart Design
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Grecian Dave, (the likes of) Exeter
Don't turn the volume down on Dave at his local Thatched House in Exeter
Best 'Spoons room ever? Exeter's Imperial is mint
June - Ooh Devon is a Place on Earth
We're all going on a summer holiday, or at least BRAPA was. That's me. Sorry, bit drunk by now so had to remind myself. With 75 ticks, June was the best month of the year and I was back in Devon (Exmouth was my base) for the majority.
Those barmy balmy Dartmoor evenings were probably the highlight of my entire year. Lincs, West Midlands, Rutland and Derbyshire also swelled my swollen figures further. A joint record monthly total along with April 2023. The record breaking year was back on!
Bass drinking legends at the Pony & Trap, Cullompton
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Devon
PUB OF THE MONTH - Rugglestone Inn, Widecombe-in-the-Moor
SONG OF THE MONTH - Steeleye Span - Hard Times of Old England
MOST DISGUSTING PINT OF YEAR - Citra, Totnes Brewing Co.
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Pete Langdale, Devon.
Pete stretches a leg and muses that beer is safer than water in Brixham
Don't drink it mate! Totnes Citra (water safer than beer here) - was eye of the needle stuff for the 24 hrs that followed!!
July - Complacency Kicks In
Partly Devon after-effects, but with only 31 ticks, July was my least productive month. Had I known what lay in store for me in September re the Cruel Churn (we'll get to that!) I would've worked harder, and a crystal ball is one thing I'd love in this pub ticking game. I'd just buy the 2044 edition now, if it exists in paper form, and not beamed down on the side of a Musk spaceship.
As England tried to win Euro 2024, the weather heated up and the cask beer became a bit more questionable. East Midlands, Kent and London were the only places I got to. But at least I could catch up on the blogs .... something I'm aiming for by the end of Jan in current BRAPA life.
Pre-emptive pint of the year - Incognito, Welbeck Abbey at Brass Lamp, Harworth
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Derbyshire
DADDY BRAPA MOST RAVED ABOUT MICROPUB OF THE YEAR - Redemption Ale House, Heanor
BEST AVOIDED - Old Ship Inn, Hackney / Malt Shovel, Barkby
SONG OF THE MONTH - Angel Du$t - Sippin' Lysol
PUB SCRAN OF THE YEAR CONTENDER- Halloumi Fries, Castle, Farringdon
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Paul Godden, Man of Kent
Outside the Rose & Crown, Pluckley (Munday Bois) with Paul G
Panda, Halloumi Fries, acceptable Solar Wave & controversial Rekorderlig as England scrape through again!
August - Uptown BRAP
Blind Sooty of the Year - Clarence, Dalton-in-Furness
With just one full month to go until the new Good Beer Guide release, I needed to pick up the pace after July's lameoid performance. A family outing to watch Billy Joel in Cardiff provided the Glamorgan boost I needed.
I ended on 43 ticks, a BRAPA record in a notoriously difficult month to get a result. In fact, I was everywhere from Dalton-in-Furness to Downham Market as I neared the exciting 3,000 (66.6%) GBG completion mark, leading me to worry if I'd actually have enough to do to keep me occupied in the 2024/25 season. A worry which didn't last long!
A first ever Lancs completion was a big moment for me. Imagine the scenes when I get a 100% Kent!
Lancashire completion at Applejacks in Longridge
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Glamorgan
PUB OF THE MONTH - Vine, Brierley Hill
TRY ALSO - Wheatsheaf. Llantrisant / Clarence, Dalton-in-Furness / All of Pontypridd! / Holly Bush, Hampstead / Montagu Arms, Barnwell
SONG OF THE MONTH - Billy Joel - Turn the Lights Back On (didn't play his new single though did he? Silly Billy).
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Ian Sutton (East Lancs)
Daddy BRAPA and Colin at the Bear Tavern, Bearwood
Pub of the month - Vine, Brierley Hill
September - Cruel Churn / Cruel Scottish Ale
Saturday 14th September 11am - new GBG arrives, about the only Saturday I was in all year so that was lucky
55 pub ticks for September might sound juicy, but it felt a hollow victory as I lost 313 pubs in the new Good Beer Guide #CruelChurn! I was devastated. For two whole days. Only a trip to Bingley could cheer me up. Said no one ever before. Approximately 5% more than I'd lost in 2023's #KinderChurn.
Just before that came a BRAPA debut in Dumfries & Galloway. Beer quality was generally dreadful, but Dumfries / the scenery / my Air B n B were good and I met some solid folk.
It was also a good month for my Cumbria, Ed. & Lothians, Cheshire, Yorkshire and Greater Manc.
In Edinburgh, I achieved my 3,000th tick nr Hibs Easter Road ground at the Old Eastway Tap, but two days later, the new GBG pushed me back down to 2,691. Cruel, cruel churn.
My first tick under embargo at the Brown Cow, Bingley - and my hair knew it
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Dumfries & Galloway
PUB OF THE MONTH - Harbour Inn, Garlieston
TRY ALSO - Railway, Sale / Steam Packet / Isle of Whithorn / Robin Hood, Pecket Well / Masonic, Kirkcudbright / Cask & Barrel Southside, Edinburgh South
BEST AVOIDED - Dumfries cask beer apart from the 'Spoons / Mallard, Moorthorpe.
SONG OF THE MONTH - Dresden Dolls - My Alcoholic Friends
BEST FOOD PAIRING OF THE YEAR - Beige platter & Theakston's Old Peculiar, Homestead, Broom, Rotherham
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Retired Martin (South Yorkshire)
Glaramara Hotel, Seatoller - top banana(rama)
October - Keep Keepin' On
No let up. I had to reduce that deficit. And a 66 pub month was a giant leap for Brap-kind.
Thankfully, I had a week off work. London. That's the kinda place you get morale boosting ticks quickly. Sutton to be precise. SW London was my weakest area but I managed to complete it. Local celeb Mark Bravery must've got a tip off I was coming and went to the Galapagos Islands or similar.
Norwich, rural Lincs, random Derbyshire (thanks again to Rich & Steve) and my first 2025 GBG completion (West Yorkshire) kept my ailing pecker up at this difficult time.
Castle, Macclesfield
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Greater London
PUB OF THE MONTH - Castle, Macclesfield
TRY ALSO - Plough, Norwood Green / Cotton Tree, Bollington / Cockput, Blackfriars / Lord Clyde, Bradford / Crown & Anchor, Kilnsea / Boatman's Rest, Worsbrough Dale / Fox & Hounds, Sloane Square / West London Trade Union Club, Acton / Prince of Wales, Clapham, Railway, Cheam.
BEST AVOIDED - Apollo Arms, Clapham
SONG OF THE MONTH - Gateway District - Tell Me Why
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Daddy BRAPA, Kilnsea & Lincs
Lord Clyde, Bradford
Crown & Anchor, Kilnsea
November - GBG Momentum v Liver Cirrhosis : only one winner, FIIIIGHT!
I ramped it up a notch further in November with 70 new pub ticks. C'mon!
Another week off work helped, tactically it pays to to hold plenty of hols over until the new GBG is out. Must do same in 2025.
Oxfordshire this time, a new one on me, using Oxford as a base (not the best accom) and taking in a very worrying Hull City defeat at the same time cos their ground only has 3 sides and one ball which kept going missing so the game didn't finish til 3am.
London, Cheshire, North Yorks and the West Midlands also pulled up some mini trees. Let's give out some panicky extra awards as we're coming to the end of this....
BRAPA Worn Juicy Carpet of Year at Morris Clown, Bampton
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - Oxfordshire
PUB OF THE MONTH - Prince Alfred, Warwick Avenue.
TRY ALSO - North Star, Steventon / Lion Inn, Blakey Ridge / Commercial, Rainhill / Albion, Warrington / King Edward VII, Halesowen / Morris Clown, Bampton / Gardeners Arms, Oxford / Cross Keys, Wallingford
BEST AVOIDED - Abingdon Arms, Beckley / Beerblefish, Blackhorse Road
SONG OF THE MONTH - The Replacements (feat. Tom Waits) - We Know The Night
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Daddy BRAPA, North Yorks / Oxon
BRAPA Breakfast Award - Oatcakes, Kidsgrove.
BRAPA Interactive Loo Experience Award - Three Hounds, Beckenham
Pub Sign of BRAPA Year Award - White Rabbit, Oxford
December : Tricky Ticky
37 ticks is my second lowest tally but at least i can blame 'other people' because in December, 'other people' come along and want to do stuff involving going out, pubs and beer - and it all seems a bit of a waste in a pub I've been to before, but if they love my company that much, I guess I'd better tow the line.
The year ends on a record breaking 619 new pub ticks, not to mention 27 pre-emptives which might pop up in future editions. I'm very happy. September gave me the jolt I needed. Well done me.
My Year in Beer - according to Untwappd. Reminds me of that time in Newark.
COUNTY OF THE MONTH - North East Wales
PUB OF THE MONTH - Cavern of the Curious Gnome, Chester
TRY ALSO - Bondies Bar, Ellesmere Port / Halfway House, Childer Thornton / Hops d'Amour, Coventry / Portland Hotel, Chesterfield / Central Hotel, Shotton / Three Tuns, Uxbridge / Royal Oak, Wrexham. Black Bull, Reeth.
BEST AVOIDED - General Elliot, Uxbridge
SONG OF THE MONTH - Billy Childish - A Poundland Christmas
BRAPA GUEST OF THE MONTH - Colin the Cauliflower
PINT OF THE YEAR DURING GBG HIGHLIGHTING MISHAP AWARD - Larkins Stout, Rock, Chiddingstone Hoath / Paul Godden
Pint of year whilst Colin wears oversized gloves - Thornbridge Jaipur, Portland Hotel, Chesterfield
Unexpected Photo of the Year - Central Hotel, Shotton
And there we have it, made it before midnight!
Overall winners:
BRAPA Person of the Year Gold Award - Daddy BRAPA
BRAPA Silver Medal - Pete Langdale
BRAPA Bronze Medal - Rich Birley / Steve Halstead (but just one medal to share, budget tight)
Upcoming Future Star - Paul Godden
County of the Year - Devon
Overall Pub of the Year - Rugglestone Inn, Widecombe-in-the-Moor
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