The Bass omens were good at Marylebone as I headed NW to Prinny Riz (Princes Risborough to you uninitiated oiks) for a pub heavy day along the Oxfordshire / Buckinghamshire border.
BRAPA debutant and chauffeur is Sladey / Dave / David / Komakino, who lives locally at Chinnor and kindly offered me this opportunity several months in advance ..... I was simply waiting for the 2026 Good Beer Guide to 'drop' (ugh) to ensure the churn wasn't too concerning in this area. It wasn't.
And although both Oxon & Bucks aren't my favourite pub counties, this was a particularly strong day's pubbing.
Sladey comes from the Pubs Galore stable, think the Man Utd Class of '92 of #PubMen which boasts luminaries such as Mick 'Citra' Ayres, Sir 'effed off to Leicester' Quinno and that jolly bald chap from Sheffield with no social media who pops up on random street corners in darkest Chesterfield.
It wor a tough start down the road in Bledders (Bledlow, you oiks) at the premier Midsomer Murders pub, Lions of Bledlow which failed to adhere to its 11:30am advertised opening hours. Summer v winter hrs Dave Sladey wonders? Hmmm, seemed a touch early for that. The above walkers didn't help - applying absolutely no pressure on the pub to open, instead deciding to go off walking first! #Selfish
Sladey's back up plan, Bledlow's sunken garden, probably hosting a few dead bodies, wasn't open either. The stinger, Mr Nettles, was NOT impressed.
A pub that I KNEW was open early is over in Watlington, I just hadn't included it on my 'definite' agenda because, although it sounds silly now, I didn't know if Sladey was driving us around or expecting us to do it on foot / public transport until quite late on. But I had purposefully worn a hat which nearly matched the pub name so there was that .....
And Sladey had done a map which even put my maps to shame, a thing of beauty, even if the arrows needed a switcharoo already .....
Some minor road rage in Watlington as a lady in a car gets abused by cruel locals even though the blockage isn't her fault, and Sladey is quick to tell her 'calm down dear, it's just a commercial' but not in those words exactly ..... phew, I needed a pint!
After some brief BRAPA chat with a lad sweeping up leaves with links to North Wales (hang on, he had links to North Wales, NOT the leaves), Spire & Spoke, Watlington (3046 / 5891) was a cacophony of breakfast chaos - babies, beards, buggies, bacon baps. All clamouring for attention before the 12 noon cut off when, presumably, normality resumes. We're not indoors long, Sladey (who knows all of today's pubs like the back of his hand) refers me to a neatly conceived outside area containing sheltered perspex booths. Friendly Helen boots me out of the first the second I sit down as she has it reserved, but the second remains free and although the sides are being paggered by the remnants of Storm Amy, it is calmer out here than in. Especially as Sladey goes full RetiredMartin on me and says "I'll leave you to it, to do your observing / check ins etc." and goes off to phones home to negotiate some mild daughter drama. My local ale is aptly called Chairman Dave, as fresh as anything I'd drink all day, and 3.5% too. 'If I can stick to similar percentages all day, maybe I can managed 7 ticks + a pre-emptive without feeling too drunk' I tell myself, Errrm, yeah Si, good luck with that!
It's only a stuffed owl mate, simmer down
Sladey's arrow of clarity pointed us next to the pub I was most looking forward to today ......
The reason for my high levels of anticipation were because the GBG tells me that Ye Olde Leathern Bottel, Lewknor (3047 / 5892) has appeared in every GBG but one. And some revisionist historians are now claiming that their one year off was simply based on a 'technicality'. The GBG spells 'Bottel' as 'Bottle' as if to say 'we've got no time for your historic nonsense'. I'm slightly underwhelmed, having set expectations to 'Stoke Lyne' levels. Despite the obvious age, creakiness, horse brasses, a rare Ox/Bucks carpet 'win', not to mention some exciting old tags hanging from the ceiling which definitely aren't car air fresheners, very foody - everyone is eating at close quarters. And being Brakspear, the Gravity / Bitter doesn't really float my goat. No guest ales I could see. Still, decent percentage-wise to keep my sobriety dreams alive. Oh, and randomly there's this direct bus route from London called the Oxford Tube which stops here in Lewknor. Still a good pub loike, you should certainly visit. Can't see it being dropped from the GBG now even if they start selling their own mother's piss. Which would still be better than the beer in Tillicoultry, Kinghorn and Limekilns.
Feeing good, doing well, and time to hit pub three, our original pub two. Hope you're keeping up .....
Sladey's local, and my second favourite pub of the day is the fantastic Red Lion, Chinnor (3048 / 5893), quality oozing from every sinew and I'd like to think that even if I hadn't been 'introduced', I'd still be able to see what a splendidly well run gaff this was. Should be used as a blueprint / training manual to all those GBG pubs I visit that never quite seem in control of what they're doing! You know, like how Woking Wetherspoons is so good, they use it as the pinnacle of all 'Spoons (seriously). Our host, Nichola, is on top form, does the GBG highlighting, and what is this, Bass?! Hurrah! I knew the omen's were good back in Marylebone. But the jocular old gnarly locals recommend me the Rev James Grand Reserve in such glowing terms, my hopes for sobriety are pissed up the wall, sort of literally, when I choose this instead. Tis glorious ESB style richness, but I never recovered from my mis-step. Nichola fetched us both a fantastic Bass Glass from the #PubShed for heaven's sake. I DID get it home in one piece (a remarkable achievement) and in breaking news (no pun intended), Sladey's chuffed to learn they're gonna get the revived Boddington's on, and I might get a Boddies glass if I fly-by for a return visit! My fave pub feature is the bar with the drawers in it, so if you aren't enjoying your pint, are a bit full, or someone hands you a tricky tax return, you can file them mid-sesh. A fine local to have - jealous! (even if I do have Fox, Volunteer, Golden Ball, Swan & Slip Inn on my doorstep!)
Time to get ourselves back to Bledlow, surely open now and hopefully those walkers haven't just arrived ......
A long rambling, undulating walk to and from the gents helps me to understand why ITV have used Lions of Bledlow, Bledlow (3049 / 5894). Oh what an atmosphere, as Russ Abbot probably said when he ticked this off. Before this point, we'd both been kinda underwhelmed. It did lack something. Sladey tells me that my ale, Kop Hill, is a nearby hill, and nothing to do with Liverpool FC. It is some kop, not lots of kop, but better than 'not much kop'. Hope I've cleared that up. Our barman, the jovial hybrid or Ed Sheeran and Oli (not Owlie) McBurnie is forced to field our questions about their alleged 11:30am opening time. He admits the website is wrong and needs updating... winter or summer, it is always 12. Tsk. And then almost as an aside, he adds "our food menu is wrong too, so that probably should be updated while we're at it, lolz". Hmmm. We weren't lolling. C'mon Barnaby, you've arrested folk for lesser crimes.
Talking of Hull City, sort of .... we were at home to Sheff Utd today who'd just got Wilder back so I was a bit more anxious than I would've been had they still had Ruben Selles (ole ole ole) .... but we managed to grind out a 1-0 win including them missing a late penalty, phew, so take that my Blade friend who was talking them up in York's Black Horse 'beer garden' in the summer .....
After that delicious interlude, it was time for the BRAPA wobble that is always pub five as we head up to tame the Thame ......
As we gleaned from our earlier chat with Nichola over in Chinnor, we were hitting Falcon, Thame (3050 / 5895) at just the right / wrong time depending on your perspective as the dangerous traffic cones outside might illustrate ...... the pub's last day before a (brief?) period of closure with a change of ownership in progress. A Hook Norton stinker, even the attempt at jubilation / celebration fell a bit flat re live music etc. My Mild had a slight vinegary tang, I'm not necessarily saying it was off as it's a characteristic of some of the light percentage milds I've noticed before. My abiding memory, and thankfully it is muffled due to '5th pint syndrome', was my trip to the loo. A bald slightly elderly guy is having a poo with the door wide open! He must see me walk in. Doesn't react at all. Aside from a brief cough and a 'plop' in the bowl. Cubicle door not even slightly ajar, like actually wide open, pants and trousers down by his ankles! In all my 5,895 pubs, I've never seen the like. And I don't want to again. I guess maybe he just wanted Falcon's last day to memorable?
Sorry I couldn't take the photo you all wanted!
Also in Thame .....
Thankfully, pub six always offers more clarity than pub five because Cross Keys, Thame (3051 / 5896) is a stonewall classic very much in the mould of our Chinnor favourite earlier, but with what the expert bloggers might say 'a slightly more pleasing pub aesthetic'. Beermats stuck to the ceiling, a dimly lit low beamy affair, rumbustious locals, ace staff. Again, Sladey makes the introductions, top lad. Amelia and Alex this time. Pretty sure someone is daughter of Chinnor Nichola, NOT that Nichola looked old enough to have grown up daughters obviously , and I also seem to recall being told about another sister / daughter, Jess, like the cat in Postman Pat, running the new GBG outlet in Yarnton, which I'm going to do at Easter or before then if I run out of pub ticks in London & Beds. Confused? Slightly tipsy? A bit overwhelmed? I was all three. Oakham Citra on top form is the perfect beer in this moment. And the fact it had a huge bubble on the top which needed a satisfying pop only increased the pub's stock in my eyes. In the running for BRAPA #PuboftheYear
I won't tell you now about our next stop, the Bell at Chearsley (though my head was a bit swimmy anyway ) in the hope it reappears in the GBG in 2027 so I can treat it as a pre/post-emptive next September. A glorious Fullers house. Just as well ESB wasn't on so I was forced into Hophead. Very GBG worthy IMO.
Sladey drops me off in Haddenham and heads for home. Haddz has a new GBG pub for me to tick having previously done the Green Dragon and Rising Sun back in September 2017 during my Bucks completion quest which ended in Marlow Bottom #FunFact.
What a great day we'd had, hope Dave enjoyed it even half as much as me and I can't have been too badly behaved because he suggests a future plan to get me to a couple of awkward Bucks outliers like Brill, Oakley and Cadsden which really would be 'brill' haha (sorry).
Plugging the gaps of Beds, Berks, Bucks and Cambs is quite high priority for me this season, so that when I come to cross tick those first few counties in Sept 2027, I get an early sense that I'm doing well! Even if West Wales, Warwickshire and the Northern Isles are utter shit.
The day had come full circle in many ways here at King's Head, Haddenham (3052 / 5897) as twilds with lazy parents career around the room like Damian the Omen III and M3GAN combined. I think it's my current state but by gum doesn't that Tim Taylor Landlord taste like beef gravy? Forced to fight my own throat to get it down, from my position under the dartboard which I'm hoping no one wants to play, and looks fairly unlikely looking at this lot! A zig-zagged stagger back to Haddenham & Thame & Parkway is very much required, need to clear my head.
Some snacks, juice and a brief train sleep mean that by the time I reach Marylebone, I can see clearly now the brain fog has gone!
And you know what that means .... re-open after a long lay off, PARCEL YARD! ESB's gone up again (£7 now), but having failed to see it in Chearsley, I was sorta champing at the bit. And I get served quicker because the man next to me at the bar falls asleep on his own arm. I must sit in the corridor because some selfish Goon has reserved my fave room .....
Nice bottle of water for the train back to York, but I'm craving a KFC by the time I arrive, but not quite hungry enough yet for the full box meal, so I pop into York Tap. My first sighting of a Hallowe'en beer (Anarchy) this year, and making today my heaviest beer day of 2025 so far , woop woop.
No wonder I slept in til 1pm on Sunday, oops. Great day, thanks again to Sladey, hope to see you soon.
Still just over a month behind on my blogging, will try and bang another one out either tmw or Wed.
Comments