BRAPA ... THE EASTER PUB TROPHY 2023 (PT 4/4) I'M A SHEPSHED DYNAMO
Two more 'fixtures' to bring you, and then I'll whizz through the quarter finals, semis and final because I think we can all agree, Easter was a long time ago now.
Two all Leicestershire clashes coming right up .......
Red Lion, Kegworth v Black Swan, Shepshed
I'm not used to pubs with so many internal walls left in, more is the pity, so with all these different doors bearing names like 'smoke room' I had no idea where to turn. I chose left, which was wrong because I couldn't see any real ale. I ask the barmaid, a woman of few words. She points at a blackboard. In fact, we complete the whole transaction without her opening her mouth. She spends the next 27.5 mins glancing over at me curiously, expectantly, like I'm expected to perform a trick or something. I can't even blame Colin, he's only peeping out from the depths of my rucksack. This room isn't the nicest, but on exploring, I find a cosy corner bar. This was there the action is. A dog couple smile. A local makes the bar staff laugh with a dreadful Easter based joke which involved scaffolding, or an HGV, or someone moving plywood. An old man, the pubbiest #pubman you could hope to find in the UK says hello, drops his walking stick, and carries on reading his paper. He leaves soon after, at 0.05 mph, trying to palm off his paper to dog couple who don't want to touch it. The barmaid has wandered around to do a bit more glancing. A drunk group of ladies has arrived in the front bar, singing 'girls just wanna have fun' and 'sisters are doing it for themselves' at full volume. Dog lady rolls her eyes at me, which is nice. But I can't help feeling slightly uncomfortable and out of place here. Not too dissimilar from an experience I'd have in Silverdale, near Carnforth, a week later. You can have all the pubby features in place, but if the welcome is a bit off, it kind of turns you off a pub. I think this was the late Bill Tidy's local, I read his obituary on the loo at 1am last week where Mr Protz joked with him about drinking cask in KEGworth.
My much anticipated Shepshed debut was a rushed, whistle stop tour. With the pace at which I moved and drank, you can even call a Shepshed dynamo (thanks) but I have only positive memories of my time here. This was helped by the excellent Black Swan, shortly after 12 noon on Easter Sunday. Quite an energetic atmosphere despite the lack of punters, as I grab Bass #3 of the weekend, which I soon realise is because some sort of pub manager is visiting and getting an update on the staff, brainstorming ways to make their bar back more visible / improve the presentation etc. The super friendly Alice arrives, so much more than a blonde barmaid which I'd never describe her or anyone else as for fear of reprisals #WokeSi2023. In fact, I've never met someone who looked so much like an Alice. And if you're thinking 'that's ridiculous Si, how can anyone look so much like an Alice', visit this pub and you'll soon be saying 'wow Si, spot on, I didn't believe anyone could look so much like an Alice, but you are right!' A bit of gentle darts is being played at the far end, someone warns that a local who likes to put Meatloaf on the jukebox is on his way, so the barman goes for a shower. It's the way they roll in here.
Speaking of rolling, no need to roll my dice for this one. Black Swan becomes our 7th quarter finalist.
Hall Croft Tap, Shepshed v Sorrel Fox, Mountsorrel
Doesn't look much from the outside does it? I was barely even sure the Hall Croft Tap was open ..... but a little door to the back is ajar, and a professional breezy gent in a green apron greets me with a 'Happy Easter'. A nice touch, and apt too seeing as BRAPA is bigger than Jesus if you think about it. Charnwood beers, particularly Salvation and Vixen, are even more common than the Draught Bass in North Leicstershire, so to see a new one, a seasonal porter at that, is a welcome treat. It might taste like a smoky brambly compost heap, but I mean in that is the nicest possible way. And with a very strict 25 minutes (okay, 22 strictly speaking) to neck it before the bus, it slips down smooth, and for once, I'm glad the pub interior is so basic and functional that it isn't distracting from the job at hand! Just the one moment of excitement, as an old lady who I'd earlier seen reversing downhill on her mobility scooter past the window, appears indoors for lunch, and asks if I can help her down the two steps due to her knackered knees, so I briefly take her weight. I wish her a nice lunch and return my glass, our host says 'Happy Easter' once more (he's been handing them out like Cadbury's Mini Eggs to all his customer's since I arrived), and with that, I leg it back to Shepshed square for the bus to Rothley.
A battle of the Charnwood micros is our final fixture then, and again I'm aware how dark and empty lthe Sorrel Fox is looking on this Sunday afternoon. However, it has the excuse of not opening until 3pm. Tsk. It is 2:57pm. But the door opens, I'm in, and the garrulous gent behind the bar doesn't hesitate to serve me, excellent. Take that pubs like Ipswich's Greyhound for making me wait til the clock ticks around to the exact minute .... NOT that I hold 18 year grudges! Again, there are two Charnwood guests on, neither of which are the compost porter so I'm able to wax lyrical and almost with passion on the subject of the local ales like a bona fide beer bore - they have an ESB, which isn't quite Fullers gloriousness but nice. And a hoppy Aussie one I have a half of later, which I can only describe as Joe Mangel bouncing on a kangaroo's belly. You see, beer CAN be fun .... you just have to put your natural wit and imagination into it. We have a lovely little chat until 3:02pm when the pub reassuringly fills up with Mountsorrel's finest residents, at which point, Col and I retire to the window. And very little happens from this point onwards, again the interior is basic, bright and breezy but not too interesting.
Well, I cannot separate Charnwood's two leading micros so we'll use the dice to decide .....
5-4 to the Hall Croft Tap. What a goal-fest! I can only imagine Jesus came off the bench rise at the back post to head in a 90th minute winner. What a lad.
Right. let's whizz through the rest of the tournament to find the winner, with the odd bonus outtake photo just to break up any monotony.
Quarter Finals
So to recap, here are the runners & riders as I draw the final eight. Hall Croft Tap in Shepshed (1). Black Swan in Shepshed (2). Woodman's Stroke, Rothley (3). Jolly Sailor, Hemington (4). Doghouse, Castleford (5). Tyne Bar, Byker (6), Anchor, Walton on the Wolds (7). Wobbly Duck, Newcastle (8).
Who do you want to win?
Doghouse, Castleford 1-1 Tyne Bar, Byker (Tyne Bar wins 5-4 on penalties)
Hall Croft Tap, Shepshed 0-1 Jolly Sailor, Hemington
We have a winner, well done Jolly Sailor. Great staff, great Bass, top music, weird dogs, chilly astroturfed marquee. The ingredients you need for a winning pub, obviously!
Hungover on my way to Leics
Hull City & Scunny (+bonus Arsenal) fans in Centurion, Newcastle
Well tbat was fun wasn't it?
Join me similar time tomorrow, as we'll see what is going on in NW & Central Lancs.
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