BRAPA .... TWIXTMAS WAR OF THE ROSES (WHICH COUNTY IS BEST? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT .... PUB!)

Thursday 26th - Saturday 28th December 2024

With Christmas done for another year in the BRAPA family household .....

Mummy and Sister BRAPA enjoy a Babycham but I think I'm winning with my Wilde Child (I'd just had a Snowball)

.... it was off to Preston on Boxing Day to watch Hull City lose .....

Smile please / eyes on the road Daddy B.

AND it was off to the Yorkshire Dales on the 28th in the fog ......

And with only three pubs ticked in both areas due to timings, weather and the pubs being unpredictable in that post-Christmas period, I'm pitting them against each other to find which is best, Lancashire or Yorkshire. Just to mix it up a bit. Blogging has been full-on recently!

I'm using a scientific voting technique to decide the result which me and friends normally use on 'York Dice Nights', rating them in the following categories. Beer. Staff. Atmosphere/Comfort. Random Shite. And if it is level at full time, I do a 'weighted' vote (i.e . my personal preference) and if I still can't decide, I roll a dice (I guess that's the equivalent of a penalty shoot out).

Fixture one is this.....

Sir Henry Tate, Chorley v Black Bull, Reeth

Beer - Chorley starts well with a pint of Beartown Lit which I describe as 'lit' which the cool kids said in Neighbours 2016 when they liked something. Being a 'Spoons, there was plenty on. Over in Reeth, Old Peculiar was a brave start to the day, but it is liquorice ambient joy. Overall I had to praise both pubs, but Reeth edges it 1-0

Staff - Over in Chorley, staff conversation is being had about not knowing what day of the week is at this 'difficult time of year'. I insert myself into the chat and join in. Would not have happened otherwise, but they are jolly enough when I do. In Reeth, when debating over my beer choice, I say "Oooh, is it too early for O.P?" meaning, a strong beer before noon. But he replies with "I wouldn't be selling it and I wouldn't be open if it was too early!" And yet it's all done in typically friendly Yorks gruffness. Can't separate the sides here, remains 1-0 Yorks.

Comfort / Atmosphere - Chorley is your standard bustling 'Spoons. Zombies wander about in a post-Christmas haze. They've over eaten, but always have room for another pint or seven. Average warmth & comfort. Reeth is a different proposition, two opposing crackling fires "as if they are chattering about sheep dip" I wrote at the time. And the carpet here is better than the one in Chorley 'Spoons. That should never happen! No brainer here. Yorkshire goes 2-0 up.

Random Shite - A late trip up ten flights of stairs to the loo in Chorley Spoons found a huge room of egg eating Sunderland fans weirdly on their way to Blackburn. I couldn't quite work out their logic! I guess my accidental 1* Google review of the Black Bull was random, and shite, but their admin lady messaged me, asked what they could do better, so I edited to a 5* and hoped I hadn't caused any distress! Stalemate.

Full time 2-0 to Reeth.

Cosy times in Reeth

Daddy B with a tricky 'cross page' tick in Chorley 'Spoons

That means Yorkshire goes 1-0 up with two fixtures to play. Are you feeling the tension? Or do you live darn saaarf and just think "Well the norf is the norf, all the bladdy same innit guv?"

Fixture two ....

Farmers Arms, Garstang v Bull Inn, West Tanfield

Beer - It's a strong start from Garstang - Fell Walker is very pale and interesting. The quality is there. One of two on, both Cumbrian. I guess we were heading that way. But Yorkshire hits straight back with a Roosters All Star reminiscent of the Yankee I used to drink in Hull's Hole in the Wall circa 2003. Wonderful from both. This is why they are in the GBG I guess. 1-1 early doors.

Staff - I approach the bar in Garstang to a very glum looking barmaid. "How are you?" I ask, more like the staff member than the customer. "Ugghh urrrghhh urrghh, ok I s'pose!" she replies. I sense she wants me to ask what's up. I don't. No recollection of any staff interaction in West Tanfield. It remain 1-1 approaching half time.

Comfort / Atmosphere - There is more life in the graveyard opposite where most of Matthew Lawrenson's rellies reside, than here in the Farmers pub. No other customers, zero atmosphere, bit sparse and gloomy. I think Daddy B. is worried I've sat too near a potentially draughty front door, but it ain't chilly. But not cosy either. Rather puts it on a plate for Yorks but West Tanfield starts horribly with way too many folk with dogs (one of whom smells of vanilla rather than the usual wet arse) who can't sit still / make a decision in the main bar. There's also a couple I get bad vibes from who've pretended they've done a hike but just parked up locally. But when the staff funnel themall through to large more dining climes, Daddy B comments on what a cosy warm stone-waller this is, feels its age too. Shades it on balance. 1-2 West Tanfield.

Random Shite - The afore mentioned Matthew 'SeeTheLizards' Lawrenson arrives to join the Garstang 'party'. It isn't totally random, as we'd pre-arranged it, but if there was a BRAPA Hall of Fame, he'd be in it for services to Sooty and mixtapes. Not to mention keeping me company in a series of bang average Lancs micropubs down the years. But just when Lancs thought they'd snatched an equaliser, a genuinely random BRAPA guest makes a Hitchcockian cameo in West Tanfield. Comes over to say hi, and then spirits himself away to the other side of the pub for eternity. And he's called Simon for the bonus point. Goal for each.

Full time 3-2 to West Tanfield.

"Just like a library" Farmers, Garstang

So, Yorkshire 2-0 Lancashire, and I know what you are thinking, our final tie is pointless cos Yorkshire has only gone and won it!

But what's this? Travellers Rest, Skeeby, North Yorkshire, Shut Pub Alert! Not opening til 13:15 due to 'delivery issues'. I was overly magnanimous at the time but Daddy B. makes me realise this is poor behaviour. Delivery or not, surely you can open for drinks / summat??

Goal automatically chalked off on the old VAR.

Yorkshire 1-0 Lancashire

Going into the final tie. Can Lancs force pens?

Chain House, Preston v Portly Pig, Ripon

Beer - Really strong start for Preggie with a hazy pale called 'Somebody Mute Mariah'. Not only the best Christmas beer name ever, but the best beer name ever? Tasted gorgeous too. Over in Ripon, I order a Gingerbread Stout. Could be gorgeous, but it was so blimmin' clovey and spicy it was off-putting. I farted festive frothy bubbles all the way back to the Fox. Preston 1-0 Ripon

Staff - Good effort from Preston here as the barman/owner who I later learn is called Ryan joins in with our Mariah hate. Sound lad. Over in Ripon, she's functional, but a little bit distant, and in something of this pub 'style', in a place as cute as Ripon, I'd expect more engagement / smiling. Though she did tell us about an upstairs seating area. Preston 2-0 Ripon

Atmosphere / Comfort - When your 77 year old father decides it best to stand up for the duration due to the minimal low seating options and awkward spartan layout, there's something up. The one seat he considered is suddenly twild-infested near a draughty door. And we had to stand in a row of three, we couldn't even face each other. A beer place, whip in a few thirds, get 'em checked in on Untappd, move on. It has warmth which is a plus. Over in Ripon, up some crazy steep stairs we find a green long room, a bit like being at the MCC, nice view into Ripon. Nice and cosy. Bit unclear where the loos are, but I work it out eventually! Preston 2-1 Ripon

Random Shite - Nothing stand out that I could recall in either.

Full time - Preston 2-1 Ripon

Do these two photos suggest Dad will think Ripon unfortunate to lose? I think so!

F/T Yorkshire 1-1 Lancashire . Lord Reeth on 17 mins for Yorks, Mute Mariah 90+2 for Lancs.

Yorks must be scratching its head as it how it surrendered that (almost) two goal lead at the death.

All I can do now is roll a regular six sided dice (penalty shoot out) and you gotta trust me!

Yorkshire ..... 3

Lancashire .... 2

YORKSHIRE WINS! Just. Wot drama here at BRAPA towers.

Post match after party at York's Fox, line up the White Rat.

See you tomorrow when I get stuck into West Bromwich.

Si