Fri rhymes with Pie, Si and Sci-Fi so it makes sense for these #SiFiPieFi nights to take place exclusively on a Friday. Why didn't I call it #SiFiPieFri? Too late now?
And so it came to pass, that on Friday 5th March, 2021, we finally had lift off in search of this brave new world, boldly going where no one had gone before, literally - eating pie, watching sci-fi, drinking (space) craft beers, washed down with Pom Bears. How to live your best lockdown life.
There was one late 'rule change' to my original manifesto, one designed at adding an element of interaction for my dear Twitter followers. I'd post two lists of 'potential' beers in a Twitter poll, and those receiving the most votes would be those I'd consume on the night.
With the 75p Sainsbury's Minced Beef & Onion Pie in the oven, Harry Ramsden's mushy peas at 35p a tin poised for the microwave, and a lurking can of Depot No.9 lager equating to about 17p a can in the back of the fridge, the casual #WWWSI observer could be forgiven for thinking I'd fallen on hard times in the past month, or entered some Cold War (watch this space) but this is the future, and it is budget-tastic. Fittingly, this came both in National Pie Week and the week of the chancellor's budget!
The Pom Bear dice roll yielded a '6', of course it bloody did! The Gods were basically saying 'Si, you want to forsake Wotsits for these Teddy shaped ready salted snacks, time to put your money where your mouth is'.
Beer 1 of the night (which I think will become known as the 'Kitchen beer') was Wye Valley's Butty Bach. A nice solid, standard bitter to start on, receiving 50% of the votes for list 1 so thanks to those who selected it. Wye also rhymes with Si, Fri, Sci Fi and Pie which pleased me greatly, offering a certain sort of symmetry. No beer makes me think of being in a generic town centre Birmingham boozer at 10:30am on a wet Saturday in November quite as much as Butty Bach.
With the oven and microwave pinging in sequence as Bomb the Music Industry's 'Goodbye Cruel World' blared from the Bluetooth speaker, I swirled a (controversial?) blob of mint sauce onto the peas, and we were ready to settle down to the main event, the dregs of my Butty Bach trudging disconsolately behind me into Wotsit (errm, I mean Pom Bear) Towers.
Our debut Sci-Fi film was supposed to be 60's Czech cult groundbreaker Ikarie SB-1 which I'm sure is brewed by Theakstons. However, our local Czech dealer (we'll call him Pavel Jan Poborksky) hadn't delivered in time, so a hasty dice roll pointed us in the direction of The Iron Giant, a 1999 animation based , featuring the voice of Jennifer Anniston, just to give flavour of how eclectic this film list actually is.
Now I know what you are thinking, The Iron Giant is surely a documentary of Steve Torpey's career at Scunthorpe United, but amazingly, turns out I'd assumed too much.
No, this robot crashes into the sea, and is found by this young lad Hogarth in a forest near fictional Rockwell, which did have a Lincolnshire vibe to it. The lad has a single Mum (Jen) who is always too busy working at the diner (nearest we got to a pub) so makes friends with this beatnik artist who has a cool beard, even though it is set in 50's Cold War America, and helps him to protect this iron giant from the authorities.
The schoolkids are supposed to watching informational videos on how to hide from the the Russians, but are too busy discussing the robot, this jobsworth government agent knows something is afoot, and tries to track down and kill our poor robot mate voiced by Vin Diesel.
I can't reveal the ending under 'Basic's Law' (carried over from #WWWSI) but it is an excellent film, pretty bittersweet and it flew by, unlike those Westerns which great as they are, have you feeling you've been trekking through the desert for six hours alongside the cast. Here, I was done for 9:30pm, feeling fresh and ready for a couple of late games of Football Manager 2020 with Hungerford Town looking to push their way into the Vanarama South playoff positions.
The hardest part of the night was when I got onto beer two, the Sainsbury's 2% Depot No. 90 Lager. It tasted like fizzy water, and with the Pom Bears being ready salted, and the film 'setting the scene' at this point, it was all a bit painful! THANKS to all who voted I drink this, by which I mean 'I hate you'. Cheers.
Beer three, as the film drew to a conclusion was the best runner up from both lists, Cosmic Surfin' by the always flavour challenging Welsh lovelies Tiny Rebel. Beer influencer Duncan Mackay (or BIDM as he's known in Paisley) alerted me to TR's 9th birthday, which meant big savings on their crazy beers! This one was some kind of oatmilk based tropically hopped thing not unlike stuff I've had in York's Maltings, and was quite intense. But even Fosters would've been intense after the Depot.
Our final beer of the night (which I didn't really need as the film had finished) was the most memorable. Duchesse De Bourgogne it was called, a 'Flanders Red Ale' which hugely divides opinion and I can see why. Sweet, sour, cherry, and quite sulphuric, it rode more like a 10%er than the 6% it was. Boofy. And why is the lovely Duchesse chatting to a bird of prey on the bottle? Personally, I liked it. It definitely affected my 'in game' decision making for Hungerford Town, that much is certain!
But as debut night's go, a success. Think I'll need other flavoured Pom Bears if they are to have the longevity of the humble Wotsit. I wolfed the pie and peas down so quickly (delicious), I wondered if more food was required. And perhaps 3 beers from 6, rather than 4 from 8 would make more sense. Depending on film length of course. These things are, as they say in the bank, a WIP (work in progress).
ANY OTHER BUSINESS
A sincere, heartfelt thank you to the 24 heroes who have followed me so far. You are all officially unabductable by a UFO Here are your squad numbers in case I try some mad kind of Alien Cup in April.
Martin Taylor (1), Mark Shirley (2), Trumpton CAMRA (3), Eddie Fogden (4), Emily Keith (5), Ed Wray (6), GeoGeo (7), John Watson (8), Chris Dyson (9), Ray Blockley (10), Dave Basic (11), Donald Murison (12), Reg la Veg (13), Christine Andrew (14), Pauline Sharp (15), Matthew Lawrenson (16), Paul Barnes (17), Ben Morris (18), Glasnevin Beers (19), Tom Irvin (20), Ullage (21), Daddy BRAPA (22), Citra (23), Cooking Lager (24).
We've also taken on two trialists. A cider making couple from Hucknall called Torkard. Ci-der rhymes a bit with Sci-fi, Si, Fri, Pie etc. so a cider night isn't beyond the realms of possibility. And Sir Quinno, who is very much the equivalent of a Bristol Rovers U23's midfielder who once scored a 35 yarder in a pre-season friendly at Chalfont St Peter, and hasn't stopped talking about it since.
Have a good week, and c u next Friday for another SiFiPieFi event. And for those of you who follow #WWWSI, there might be a surprise return sooner than even I was expecting.
Take care, don't let the bed lizards bite,
Si